


Big Bad Chat

by fandom_cat



Series: The Big Bads [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Asexual Azumane Asahi, Asexual Kuroo Tetsurou, Canon Compliant, Canon Continuation, Captain Ennoshita Chikara, Coming Out, EVERYBODY KEEPS COMING OUT OR REALIZES THEY ARE QUEER, Established Relationship, Everyone Is Gay, First years as second years, Future Fic, Getting Together, Kagehina getting together, M/M, Nonbinary Ennoshita Chikara, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tanaka Ryuunosuke is a Good Friend, Trans Kageyama Tobio, You Have Been Warned, a lot of queer topics being discussed, chat fic, cursing, daisuga power couple, future captain yamaguchi, lots of wholesome friendships, second years as third years, sex ed, text fic, third years as college students, vise-captain Tanaka Ryuunosuke, yamaguchi is savage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2020-06-24 19:02:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 29,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19729870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandom_cat/pseuds/fandom_cat
Summary: Noya creates a chat for the Karasuno team. It was all meant to be a way to keep in touch with the former third years who are now in college yet it takes exactly 4 minutes for it all to derail completely.Nobody is in control of this even though Daichi tries. Occasionally people from other teams pay them a visit to upset the balance. Everybody meddles in everybody's romantic lives. Tsukishima is Extra (TM). Ennoshita is Da Boss. Suga is a little shit but everybody loves and misses him. Kageyama doesn't know what life is and pines after Hinata quietly. Noya pines after Asahi LOUDLY.It's all a mess, as expected.[KinoShitAh: So who else thinks they’re datingAzumane: ??? wut. U can do that??Suga-mom: omg what, Asahi?Daichi: Men can date other men, Asahi. Japan has a long history of same-sex love, we should be proud to continue itSuga-san: Ah yea that’s why you sext me now we live apart, because #historyDaichi: KOUSHI!!!!Azumane: (￣■￣;)(￣■￣;)(￣■￣;)Azumane: WHAT IS HAPPENING]





	1. We Are The Champions

**Author's Note:**

> Any errors in the text are intentional. Any errors in the chat nicknames are not - point them out if you spot them. ^_^

**NoYa created a chatroom**

**NoYa changed the name to The Champions Chat**

**NoYa added Azumane, Tanaka-bro, Shou-chan, Kageyama, Chick_Ara, Narita, KinoShitAh, Daichi, Suga, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi**

NoYa: welcome to my creation: The Champions Chat.

Suga: aaah, Noya, you really did as you promised! we’re touched. Daichi is so happy.

Azumane: Yuu ╥﹏╥

Shou-chan: wUT s dis, Noya-senpai!

Tsukishima: My brain hurt reading this. Why am I here? I was happy to be on a break, far away from idiots like Hinata.

Tanaka-bro: TSUKISHIMA YOU JERK, THIS IS SO WE ALL KEEP IN TOUCH WITH OUR SENPAIS, WHO ARE AT UNIVERSITY NOW!!!!

Tsukishima: ...why?

Tanka-bro: I SWERA TO THE GODS I WILL SMACK YOUR STUPID HEAD WHEN I SEE YOU NEXT TIMMMMME

Daichi: Quit yelling, Tanaka, Tsukishima already is keeping in touch

NoYa: ??

Tanaka-bro: ????

KinoShitAh: !!!!

Narita: He is?

Shou-chan: He IS??

Yamaguchi: Noya-san, did you turn “bro” into a honourific? 

Tsukishima: I am. But like a normal person. Not this group chat monstrosity.

Shou-chan: wut u have against group chatsj, Stingyshima??

Tsukishima: I beg you to stop typing. I’d ask you to stop typing like this but I am sure you don’t know proper kanji anyway. So--just--don’t--

NoYa: Answer his question, you ungrateful brat

Tsukishima: …

Suga: you’re so dramatic. he just texted me and Daichi congrats on our University acceptance.

Azumane: Yes, I got a message too. Sorry I didn’t reply, Tsukishima, I thought it was a mistake! 

Tsukishima: That’s rude, Asahi-san.

Azumane: I AM SO SORRY, TSUKISHIMA please don’t be mad (ノ﹏ヽ)

Yamaguchi: Don’t worry, he’s grinning evilly at his phone

Tsukishima: Shut up, Yamaguchi

Narita: 300 yen he just answered with “sorry, Tsukki”

Daichi: there is no point to betting when I’d lose

Suga: Yeah, nobody is taking that one

Narita: would have been easy money

Tanaka-bro: Can we go back to hwo Tsukishima is respectful nad polite??!!@ I shut down for 10 whole minutes, then screamed for another 10 trying to prosess this

Tsukishima: According to the timestamps you were gone for a total of 5 minutes 42 seconds

Tanaka-bro: DON’T CORRECT ME WHEN IM MAKING A PIONT

Shou-chan: I made popcoirn to snack while every1 unloads on Tsukishima btw

**Tsukishima left the chat**

NoYa: Oh no you don’t, you little shit

**NoYa has added Tsukishima to the chat**

Suga: welcome back you ungrateful shit

Tsukishima: I don’t enjoy this.

Shou-chan: what even is wroing w/ chats you have all your friends in one place its fun!!!

Tsukishima: You would say that, you barely-evolved monkey. Texts minimise and filter human contact; group chats are counterintuitive for that very reason.

Shou-chan: wuts that word?

Tanaka-bro: counterintuitive it is when an action defies logic or reason

NoYa: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

Azumane: �(ﾟ□ﾟ*川

Shou-chan: ；￣ロ￣）

Shou-chan: Tanaka-senpai turned smart!

Daichi: That was impressive, Tanaka

Tanaka-bro: Sou sou, haha, Thank you, Daichi-san 

Tsukishima: Can we now talk about something else?

Yamaguchi: You could always stop replying? 

Narita: lemme guess, 

Suga: “Shut up, Yamaguchi”

NoYa: Shut UP YAMAGUCHI, HE’D SAY IT

Tanaka-bro: don’t let the beanpole tell you what to do, Yamaguchi

Yamaguchi: … he said it

Yamaguchi: I am not wrong. Ennoshita-san hasn’t written a thing yet

Chick_Ara: I am still trying to figure out 3 things:

Chick_Ara: 1. Are our screen names really corresponding to however Nishinoya has us in his phone? 2. Why am I chiCKara in his phone? 3. Would Nishinoya ever answer Yamaguchi about the “-bro” honorific? 

NoYa: 1 yes 2 ur a hot bitch 3 nop it’s an obvious answer

Azumane: You can change the name from the chat menu, Ennoshita.

NoYa: Asahi, you traitor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Azumane: ??? why it might make him more comfortable. I didn’t like my old name in your phone either.

NoYa: I changed it, stop complaining 

Tanaka-bro: I am never changing mine, it is the greatest honour

NoYa: bro

Tanaka-bro: BRO

**Chick_Ara changed their name to BossShita**

Narita: Why am I the only 3rd year with a normal damn screen name? I thought we had something, Noya??

NoYa: I am sorry, the flower emoji isn’t showing in the chaaaat nammmmes i s wear you are special to me, Narita (◕ω◕✿)

Narita: ……… u r forgiven 

Yamaguchi: hey where did Hinata go? 

Daichi: I checked, he answered the phone just to yell he’s playing volleyball with Kageyama, then tossed the phone to the ground without dropping the call. I hung up after the 4th uninspired offense. 

**Suga changed their name to Suga-mom**

**NoYa changed their name to Yu_Hu**

**Tsukishima changed their name to Go_Away**

**Yu_Hu changed Go_Away’s name to Fuck_No**

Yu-Hu: u cant escape this bitch

Fuck_No: I hate you, Noya-san.

**Fuck_No changed their name to Tsukishima**

**Yu_Hu changed Tsukishima’s name to Fuck_No**

Fuck_No: Noya-san!

Yamaguchi: ( ╹ਊ╹)

Fuck_No: Yamaguchi, I swear...

Yamaguchi: He stormed out the room but left his phone

**Fuck_No changed their name to Fuck_Yea**

Yamaguchi: big mistake

Azumane: omg Yamaguchi has an evil sidde??

Suga-mom: please, you know nothing, child

BossShita: why did you think he was friends with Tsukishima?

Azumane: he’s friends with Hinata too!

Yamaguchi: I can see everything you type, you realise that, right?

Suga-mom: hush, child, we are proud of you when you use your evil ways to mess with Tsukishima. He needs somebody to keep him on his toes

BossShita: he’d be bored of life otherwise

Daichi: Being too smart is not good sometimes

Yamaguchi: I can’t believe you guys know this about Tsukki. I should tell him! 

Suga-mom: you do that, child

KinoShitAh: So who else thinks they’re dating

Azumane: ??? wut. U can do that??

Suga-mom: omg what, Asahi? 

Daichi: Men can date other men, Asahi. Japan has a long history of same-sex love, we should be proud to continue it

Suga-san: Ah yea that’s why you sext me now we live apart, because #history

Daichi: KOUSHI!!!!

Azumane: (￣■￣;)(￣■￣;)(￣■￣;)

Azumane: WHAT IS HAPPENING

KinoShitAh: I am beginning to realise why Noya nd Asahi-san never hooked up

Yu_Hu: shut it r t f n

Azumane: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT 

KinoShitAh: that you were oblivious to Noya’s crush on you?

Azumane: Noya is into girls, you’re wrong

Suga-mom: @BossShita, do you have this?

BossShita: He’s moved out of the nest, you got custody of this child, sorry

Suga-mom: fine

Suga-mom: [ https://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E4%B8%A1%E6%80%A7%E6%84%9B ](https://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E4%B8%A1%E6%80%A7%E6%84%9B)

Yu_Hu: i don’t like this

Yu_Hu: u will scare poor Azumane he will never look at me again

Daichi: And you will take rejection like a proud Japanese man, Nishinoya!

Tanaka-san: I am with Daichi-san here. You are a strong man, Yuu!

Yu_Hu: I was not ready 

Azumane: Stop interrupting my reading!

BossShita: This was well-handled, @Suga-mom

Suga-mom: watch and learn, my apprentice 

Daichi: Technically, since he’s the Captain, he is my apprentice

Suga-mom: you sweet delusional child

Narita: was that a Shaman King reference because thats OLD!

Suga-mom: hush you

*

Kageyama: I won

Fuck_Yea: We do not care.

Fuck_Yea: Wait…what?

Fuck_Yea: YAMAGUCHI!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, bookmark, kudos! Expect weekly updates but subscribe to never miss a chapter anyway ^_^ 
> 
> Here’s a teaser for next one:  
> [Yu_Hu: Daichi-san can’t sext you because Asahi’s keeping him busy?  
> Suga-mom: DAICHI CAN’T SEXT ME BECAUSE ASAHI IS KEEPING HIM BUSY   
> Suga-mom: We already go to University 3 hours from each other. This is very inconsiderate.   
> Tsukishima: I will regret pointing this out, but is it typically not possible to relieve that frustration all on your own?   
> KinoShitAh: tranlsation: masturbate   
> Tsukishima: I knew I’d regret it  
> Yamaguchi: I can’t believe you even said that in the first place]


	2. Return Of The Great King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asahi is still trying to figure out how he feels and Noya is having a Gay Crisis, poor soul.
> 
> Suga needs his boyfriend. Oikawa shows up out of nowhere. Iwaizumi is too tired for this.

Yu_Hu: so to go back to basics, can we all just start using this chat to keep up with the senpai and NOT spill each other’s secrets?

Yamaguchi: Asahi-san still not responding to you?

Yu_Hu: SHUT UP YAMAGUCHI

Tsukishima: Don’t do that, please.

KinoShitAh: like I said ^^^^

Tsukishima: Please, don’t try to strain yourself too much by looking for pointless clues.

KinoShitAh: Don’t try to offend me sneakily, you beanpole, I am not impressed

Suga-mom: @Yu_Hu for fuck’s sake, chill the hell out, he’s been on the phone with Daichi talking aboout the history of Japanese gays, I can’t talk to my boyfriend because Asahi has decided this is the opportune moment for his fucking sexual awakening but please can you explain how does the sex life of a bunch of skeletons relate to how he feels about getting frisky with other men???

Tsukishima: …

Narita: …

Yu_Hu: Daichi-san can’t sext you because Asahi’s keeping him busy?

Suga-mom: DAICHI CAN’T SEXT ME BECAUSE ASAHI IS KEEPING HIM BUSY

Suga-mom: We already go to University 3 hours from each other. This is very inconsiderate.

Tsukishima: I will regret pointing this out, but is it typically not possible to relieve that frustration all on your own?

KinoShitAh: tranlsation: masturbate

Tsukishima: I knew I’d regret it

Yamaguchi: I can’t believe you even said that in the first place

Yamaguchi: His face is red

Tsukishima: I am not talking to you anymore

Yamaguchi: technically, that’s typing

Shou-chan: y r we talking about our senpai’s sex life???

Kageyama: I expected this to be a volleyball chat

**Tsukishima has blocked Kageyama**

Tsukishima: One-lane minds piss me off.

Shou-chan: OMG @KAGEYAMA TSUKISHIMA BLOCKED YOU

Yamaguchi: he won’t be able to see Kageyama’s response you know that?

Kageyama: I don’t care. He should spend less time being Extra and more time taking volleyball seriously

Yamaguchi: @Yu_Hi please take a break from being sad to use this as the new screen name

Yu_Hu: i think i just might

 **Yu_Hu has changed Tsukishima’s name to Extra** **™**

Extra™: …

Extra™: I’m not even mad.

*

Daichi: Please STOP talking about our sex lives

Daichi: this includes you too @Suga-mom

Suga-mom: sorry babe

Tanaka-bro: Yes, please, I want to know how University is going for y'all?

Daichi: We all got into volleyball teams.

Narita: We know, we’re so proud!!!

Suga-mom: ＾ω＾ I am the main setter again, omg finally

Kageyama: Well done, you deserve it, Suga-san

Narita: We’re talking about volleyball and a wild Kageyama appears

Kageyama: I am not wild. Hinata is wilder than I am

Shou-chan: I AM NOT YOU ARE WORSE THAN ME

Daichi: STop RIGHT NOW

Tanaka-bro: SHUT IT YOU TWO

Suga-mom: …… anywaaaaaaaaaaaay my University doesn’t have a powerhouse team or anything (yet!!) so it’s not that big of a deal but I like being on the court

Daichi: Asahi is working under an Ace he admires. He’s kinda confused by NOT being the Ace but also looking up to the one who IS the Ace

Suga-mom: Don’t worry @Yu_Hu, it’s a professional admiration

Yu_Hu: I don’t want to talk about this

Tanaka-bro: Asahi-san will have only eyes for you, Yuu! Also, I know how Asahi-san feels, working under a great reliable Ace is an honour

Daichi: ANYWAY, I am playing in the B team at my club for now, but guess who’s the main setter?

Daichi: This might be particularly interesting for you, @Kageyama.

Kageyama: Why? Who is it?

Extra™: It’s probably the Great King

Daichi: You are correct, Tsukishima

Tanaka-bro: ooooooooooooooooooooooh

Kageyama: I still can’t see his messages, who is it?

Shou-chan: OH MY GOD THE GREAT KING WHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAT WHOA YOU ARE PLAYING WITH HIMM has he tried to kill you yet to erase the evidence of his great shame his downfallll??

Kageyama: Oikawa-san goes to the same university as you, Daichi-san?

Shou-chan: Are you, jealous, huuh, Kageyamaa?? |*￣ー￣|

Kageyama: Shut up, Dumbass!

Daichi: Yes, Oikawa is here. So is Kuroo. Both of them got in on a sports scholarship, unlike myself. I had to apply to the team. I heard from Kuroo that Oikawa actually recommended me, that’s why I got accepted.

KinoShitAh: Whait what??

Shou-chan: whoooooa Daich-san has the Great King’s stamp of approval!

Tanaka-san: You deserve a scholarship too, Daichi-san, I don’t know why you went the academic route at alll!

Daichi: It was alright. The University which offered me scholarship didn’t have such good History course

Kageyama: Is Kuroo-san on the A team as well?

Daichi: He is since two practices ago. He blocked two of Oikawa’s setter dumps. Oikawa was furious but Coach was terribly impressed. He subbed one of the second years for Kuroo and now the stupid cat is pulling off crazy plays with Oikawa. I hate both of them. They should not have met. They are evil together, it’s like giving a serial killer a loaded weapon but the loaded weapon is actually a super clever AI.

Kageyama: I need to practice

KinoShitAh: 300 yen he is going to practice because he thinks he needs to beat Oikawa AND Kuroo by the time he’s gotten into University

Daichi: Nobody is taking your bets, Kinoshita

KinoShitAh: I don’t like this chat

Extra™: Join the club.

**Yu_Hu has removed Kageyama from Extra™’s blocked list**

Extra™: How are you able to do that?

Yu_Hu: I have (1) talent and i will not hseitate to use it bitch

Extra™: Noya-san, did you… Do you have unlimited access to our profiles?

Yu_Hu: (1) talent bitch

Extra™: That’s a violation of privacy.

Yu_Hu: a violation of privacy would have been to program it so when you log in it sneaks a file in to copy all your data and email it to me as a zip

Yu_Hu: this is just taking away your right to be fuckign Extra™

Extra™: I am Extra™. I tried to be Tsukishima but you kept changing my screen name.

Yu_Hu: pun penalty

Shou-chan: I want to know if the Great King has improved his serve?

Extra™: Is nobody else bothered by Noya-san’s ability to access our personal profiles?

Narita: No, I expected it once I was added.

Suga-mom: same

BossShita: it was a given

Daichi: Yes, Hinata, his serves are now pinpoint AND super-powered. I hate them. In fact, I am convinced he invited me to the team so I’d stand on the B side fighting to get them.

Daichi: He has another thing coming if he thought I’d just bend over and take it.

Daichi: @Suga-mom DO NOT

Suga-mom: I wasn’t gonna

Daichi: Mhm

**Yu_Hu added Oikawa to the chat**

Daichi: Nishinoya Yuu, did you go through my contacts????

Yu_Hu: …

Oikawa: ???????????

Yu_Hu: Serve at me you coward, don’t you target Daichi-san!!!

Daichi: oh for fuck’s sake, Noya, i swear...

Oikawa: 1 i dont know what is happening

Oikawa: 2 i dont care

Oikawa: 3 you r in highschool right? we can’t play against each other

Yu_Hu: u r just scared bitch

Oikawa: DID YOU JUST CALL ME A BITCH

Shou-chan: I called Kageyama so he’d come back to see this

Oikawa: Heh? Shrimpy is here? And Tobio-chan?

Oikawa: No seriously, where have you added me?

Yu_Hu: Karasuno Champions chat

**Oikawa has left the chat**

Suga-mom: he is as dramatic as Tsukishima

Extra™: I take offense. I am dramatic in a much more effective way.

**Yu_Hu added Oikawa to the chat**

Yu_Hu: don’t run, bitch

Oikawa: IF YOU DON’T QUIT THIS I SWEAT I’LL MAKE YOU PAY. I don’t want to associate with lowly crows

Oikawa: ʅ(◔౪◔ ) ʃ

Yu_Hu: u sweat?

Extra™: Do you sweat it, Oikawa-san?

Shou-chan: LOL omg

Kageyama: I am really uncomortable right now

Extra™: like teacher like pupil

Oikawa: TOBIO-CHAN IS NOT MY PUPIL

Oikawa: I do sweat! I sweat my ass off ont he coart to be better than you all. Now get me out of this chat or I swear to God…

**Yu_Hu has kicked Oikawa out of the chat**

Yu_Hu: That was satisfying

Kageyama: I feel better now

Yu_Hu: me too

Shou-chan: we should never again allowe Oikawa here, Noya-senpai, he’d know our secrets and try to beat us through mind games

Yu_Hu: Shouyoooo you are riiiight I’ll make sure he could never come back again

Daichi: You are the one who added him in the first place

Yu_Hu: ʅ（´◔౪◔）ʃ

Daichi: Oikawa just texted me he wants me to train spiking with him

Daichi: If I die I am haunting Noya’s hacker ass

Suga-mom: don’t die babe

BossShita: Yea don’t die, Daichi-san, Suga-san will be perpetually sexually repressed and incredibly grumpy

Suga-mom: SHUT IT ENNOSHITA

Daichi: please stop

*

Oikawa_T: Those karasuno shits added me to some weird group chat just so the libero can harass me about serving at him.

Oikawa_T: Can yoou believe how popular I am, Iwa-chan?

Iwaizumi: go away I’m studying

Iwaizumi: What do you want for dinner?

Oikawa_T: kakejiru pleeeease

Iwaizumi: fine but we’re having it with udon like normal people

Oikawa_T: You’re the worst boyfriend

**Iwaizumi has blocked Oikawa_T**

Oikawa_T: but I still <3 u, lucky for u

* 

Oikawa_T: Iwa-chan?

Oikawa_T: Hello?

*

Oikawa_T: DID YOU BLOCK ME AGAIN THIS IS SO RUD IWA-CHAN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave your thoughts in the comments, it’s much appreciated ^_^ 
> 
> Next chapter: we learn something important about the new Karasuno Captain and Tanaka is the one true ally <3  
> Here’s the TEASER:
> 
> [Narita: Yea Tsukishima how do you understand that reference????  
> Yamaguchi: he woke me up because he was swearing at his phone why must you be like this???  
> KinoShitAh: ???????????? why are you in his room at 4 in the morning???  
> Yamaguchi: sleepover  
> Narita: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm]


	3. Chick_Ara_More_Like_NB_Ara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memes, memes everywhere. Asahi learns everything he can about LGBTQ+ issues to support all his friends but Tanaka will not be outdone in #ally points! Suga says trans rights, Ennoshita is a badass, the bisexuals turn on each other. 
> 
> Apparently, Tsukishima reads fanfiction so there’s that, I guess ;) 
> 
> Oh, and KageHina gets closer and closer to becoming a thing... if only those dumbasses would talk to each other!

Azumane: ddi u know bisexuals experience a unique difficulty with expressing their sexuality because of biphobia?

Narita: How long have you been at this?

Azumane: I need to be informed

Azumane: apparently a lot of my friends are LGBTQ

KinoShitAh: Asahi-san is the one true ally

BossShita: Have you called Noya, he’s been down

Yu_Hu: quit talking on my behalf you shits

BossShita: excuse you?

Yu_Hu: …….

Azumane: call me, Noya

Yu_Hu: calling!!!!

Narita: and they were roommates

KinoShitAh: OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES

Extra™: It is too early to read something like this.

Extra™: As a matter of fact, it is always too early for something like this.

KinoShitAh: …. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Narita: Yea Tsukishima how do you understand that reference????

Yamaguchi: he woke me up because he was swearing at his phone why must you be like this???

KinoShitAh: ???????????? why are you in his room at 4 in the morning???

Yamaguchi: sleepover

Narita: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

**Yamaguchi has left the chat**

Narita: lol they’re one and the same now

KinoShitAh: one fo those people in that sorta relationship

Narita: matching outfits are next

BossShita: we wear uniforms to school

Narita: obviously out of school i mean!!!

Extra™: Go to sleep and leave us alone

*

**Yu_Hu added Yamaguchi to the chat**

Yamaguchi: （´。｀)

*

Azumane: like 4.5% of people are LGBTQ can you believe that?

Tanaka-bro: I thought it was one in 4?

Suga-mom: that’s just a meme, Tanaka

Tanaka-bro: oh. 4.5 seems a little

Azumane: i thought ti was less

Daichi: You’ve done well to read up, Asahi, I am very proud of you.

Tanaka-bro: wait does that mean 1 in 25 people are gay???

Extra™: You almost got it. 1 in 22.(2).

Tanaka-bro: that’s not a real number

Yamaguchi: it is, it means the (2) after the decimal point continues infinitely.

Yu_Hu: that’s not a think and if it is it’s a cruel and unusual HOMOPHOBIC punishment

Yamaguchi: lol

BossShita: guess i know which one fo the third years would be staying late for extra math tutoring

Yu_Hu: no i refuse u r mean

Tanaka-bro: so screwed bro

BossShita: what makes you think u are exempt???

Tanaka-bro: ah fuck

Daichi: our team has an unusual amount of LGBTQ players

Azumane: it seems

KinoShitAh: The 1 in 4 people are gay statistic is factually incorrect. Karasuno volleyball club, which has 80% gays, is an outlier and should not have been counted

Yu_Hu: do we have that many???

Narita: i think Tanaka, myself, and Kinoshita are the only straight people here

Yamaguchi: there is nothing gay about me

Narita: we don’t believe you

Suga-mom: child don’t lie to your parents

Extra™: That would have been funnier if they knew the joke, Yamaguchi.

Yamaguchi: it’s funnier like this

KinoShitAh: Yamaguchi and Tsukishima: we’re not gay or in a relationship  
Also Yamaguchi and Tsukishima: we share private gay jokes nobody else gets

Shou-chan: ???? @Narita why do u think i’m gay???

Suga-mom: @BossShita this one is yours

BossShita: let him try on his own first, they gotta learn to fly by themselves sooner or later

Tanaka-bro: wait Ennoshita is gay?

Narita: well you’re pretty obsessed with @Kageyama tbh

Tanaka-bro: not that there’s anything wrong with that i just didn’t know>>

Shou-chan: I M NOT JUS TLIKE HIS TOSSES

Extra™: I should have blocked Hinata. My brain hurts.

Kageyama: I really don’t want ot talk about things which are not volleyball.

Extra™: In other news which surprise no one…

Kageyama: I liked it better when you had me blocked.

Extra™: Me too but apparently I have no autonomy over my own profile. I can’t even leave. I can’t even mute the chat, @Yu_Hu

Narita: @Kageyama you don’t want to talk about it bc it’s not interesting or bc you’re uncomfortable bc there’s a difference and i’d liek to know

Kageyama: take your pick, Narita-san

Shou-chan: i feel things fo rgirls

BossShita: Hinata do I need to send you that link about bisexuality too?

Shou-chan: what is that???

BossShita: [ https://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E4%B8%A1%E6%80%A7%E6%84%9B ](https://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E4%B8%A1%E6%80%A7%E6%84%9B)

Shou-chan: thats long

BossShita: read it

Tanaka-bro: Ennoshita you didn’t answer meeee

BossShita: none of your business

Tanaka-bro: what??? I would never judge you why would u say that??

Narita: maybe he doesn’t want to talk about it in a group chat how about that!!

KinoShitAh: u r the one who outed him u idiot

Narita: i already apologized on private

BossShita: all of you shut up

Yu_Hu: @Extra™ (1) talent bitch. Next time actually have a decent firewall would u

Extra™: Would it stop you?

Yu_Hu: no but it’s common courtesy it’s rude to make it too easy

Yu_Hu: @Kageyama I think it makes you sad that Shouyo is not gay for you

Extra™: I will say this once and once only: lol

Narita: (ﾟдﾟ；)

Azumane: （*￣□￣*；（*￣□￣*；（*￣□￣*；wow

Kageyama: I just care how well he plays, please stop @ ign me if it isn’t about volleyball

Yu_Hu: @Extra™ much internet

KinoShitAh: many abbreviation

Narita: such chat

Shou-chan: then if u want to play volleyball why r u ignoring my calls @Kageyama i have been ringing since 4ever????

Yu_Hu: lovers spat

Kageyama: w r NOT lovers why would we be lovers he is not gay

BossShita: do i need to send U the bisexuality link now as well

Kageyama: i read it already its still doesn’t mattter whatever

Shou-chan: well i read it too and now i am thinking and i think better when we pass to each other so come the hell over to play so i can think ok

BossShita: this has been two sexual awakenings in the span of a week. The karasuno volleyball team si doing well even without their mom and dad power couple

Daichi: Please don’t encourage Suga, he’s been trying to convince me to change my screen name to Dad-chi for days.

Tanaka-bro: here i’d like to point out Kageyama isn’t saying HE isn’t gay or that he doesnt want to hit that lol

Extra™: I don’t want to have to think about that, please, Tanaka-san!

Suga-mom: you are their mommy now, @BossShita

BossShita: *parent

BossShita: i don’t enjoy gendered terms

Suga-mom: ok sry. parent. ull do so well

BossShita: tnx

BossShita: @Tanaka-bro I’m not gay. It’s complicated.

Tanaka-bro: s ok just kno i wouldnt’ judge ok

BossShita: yh u r the coolest straight person i know

Narita: HEY

BossShita: it’s not about u tho i don’t know how to take space when it comes to these things

BossShita: like im having a panic attack bc i corrected mom to parent ???

Suga-mom: lol don’t it was a fair correction i needed to know

Azumane: it also means maybe not calling Ennoshita “bro” and “dude” and stuff

Tanaka-bro: ah ok i dod that a lot. daaaaaaaaaaamn sgonna be hard but hey who cares ic an do it

Azumane: also i never said i was LGBTQ? At all?

Daichi: oh honey

Suga-mom: oh honey

Narita: oh honeeey

Yu_Hu: leave him alone

*

Shou-chan: I’m bisexuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal thank you Ennoshita-saaaaaaaaan oh and i didnd’t know Kageyama was gay but he said he was and now we really have a lot of gays in the team hahaha wait are th first years gay we need to check

Kageyama: Quit typing without punctuation, Dumbass!!!

Extra™: First reasonable thing you’ve said in this chat, King. Too bad you added too many exclamation points at the end and completely ruined it.

Shou-chan: shut upppp stupidshima i can date guys now

Shou-chan: wait can u give me tips

Extra™: No.

Shou-chan: @Yamaguchi

Yamaguchi: yes

Yu_Hu: @Shou-chan wtf why would you break Kageyama’s heart like this why don’t you just date him???

Shou-chan: he didn’t say he liked me he said he way gay we don’t need to date each other

Kageyama: please stop this Noya-san

Yu_Hu: I WILL NOT ONE OF US NEEDS HAPPINESS ONE OF US NEEDS A HAPPY NEDING I WILL NOT QUIT

Yu_Hu: Shouyo, go out with Kageyama

Shou-chan: but what if he doesn’t want ot

Yu_Hu: Kageyama, do you wnat ot date this bisexual dumbass??

Yu_Hu: sidenote: he doesn’t represent us

Yamaguchi: lol (sry Hinata)

*

Kageyama: yes

Narita: THAT TOOK YOU AN HOUR WE WERE ALL HOLDING OUR BREATH

Extra™: I wasn’t, I was reading a book.

Tanaka-bro: for fucks sake Tsukishima go outside

Extra™: I am outside

Shou-chan: wiat u want to date me Kageyama???

Extra™: Please confess someplace else. Like during one fo the thousand times a day you play volleyball together.

Tanaka-bro: u r outside and reading a book why are u liek this

Extra™: @Yu_Hu release me from this Purgatory, please, I will give you anything!

Yu_Hu: no

BossShita: I am so proud of my children

Extra™: I am going to burn all electronic devices I own, then go live in a cave.

Narita: You are a good parent, Ennoshita

Yu_Hu: Ennoshita, ur one problem child is sulking

Extra™: Ennoshita-san knows I am not the problem here, because they are a reasonable human being. I didn’t sign up to be tortured like this.

Yu_Hu: mean

Kageyama: @Shou-chan yes

Shou-chan: YOU TAKE TOO LONG TO RESPOND JUST COME OVER

Extra™: Please.

Kageyama: shut up tsukkishima

Extra™: That’s not how you spell my name.

Shou-chan: yh it’s *stupidshima

Extra™: I would say I’d do this once but I assume I’d end up using it a lot

Extra™: ┌П┐(►˛◄’!)

Yu_Hu: much internet

Narita: many emoji

KinoShitAh: such chat

Extra™: ┌П┐(►˛◄’!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: TsukkiYama for your soul, plus one of Yamaguchi’s darkest secrets finally comes out. Somebody gets called “bubi” unironically.
> 
> Here’s a taste:
> 
> [Yamaguchi: I lied when I said there’s nothing gay about me.  
> Suga-mom: we knew that already  
> Extra™: Still funnier if they knew the joke.  
> Suga-mom: yh what IS the joke btw?  
> Extra™: Not saying  
> Suga-mom: @Yamaguchi  
> KinoShitAh: only half of him is gay?  
> Yu_Hu: bisexuals are full people, dumbass]


	4. We Never Said We Weren’t

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The awaited TsukkiYama culmination. 
> 
> Featuring Hinata being too unbearably obsessed with volleyball, an exhausted Daichi, and Kinoshita getting schooled on bisexuality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes on terms included this chapter:  
> hakase - honorific for Professors, outdated/rarely used  
> Shōdō - Japanese calligraphy art

Shou-chan: @Yamaguchi please convinmce the beanpole to play volleyabll with us the break is almost over and the 1on1 is getting boriiiing

Kageyama: ARE YTOU SAYING I AM BORING YOU ARE STILL NOT CATCHING ALL MY SERVES YOU LITTLE DUMBASS 

Shou-chan: nononono i just think we could train together u kn like on the same team

Yamaguchi: Tsukki says he doesn’t want to see your faces until practice begins 

Yamaguchi: i wanna come though i want to practice being middle blocker

Extra™: There’s three of you now

Yamaguchi: You willingly went to the retired Coach Ukai last week.

Extra™: We are done.

Shou-chan: YOU WENT OT UKAI WOOOOAH did he kick you ass bwahhahaha

Yamaguchi: no, we’re not, see you tonight, Tsukki!

KinoShitAh: there hasn’t been a day u two haven’t been together do u even stay apart ever?

Extra™: Yes, we are apart all the time. Yamaguchi just said I went to practice with Coach Ukai. 

KinoShitAh: i will catch the two of you one day youll mix up ur lies and slip u foooools

Extra™: I haven’t lied even once.

Yamaguchi: I lied when I said there’s nothing gay about me.

Suga-mom: we knew that already

Extra™: Still funnier if they knew the joke.

Suga-mom: yh what IS the joke btw?

Extra™: Not saying

Suga-mom: @Yamaguchi

KinoShitAh: only half of him is gay?

Yu_Hu: bisexuals are full people, dumbass

KinoShitAh: ½ gay + ½ straight = 1 full bisexual

Yu_Hu: no

Kageyama: that’s rude, Kinoshita-san

Azumane: that’s biphobic

KinoShitAh: wait are you serious?

Azumane: yes

Yu_Hu: yes

KinoShitAh: even kageyama corrected me wow i was wrong. Sorry to all the bisexuals. Esp @Yamaguchi 

Yamaguchi: i’m good

Suga-mom: so what is the joke u bisexual disaster?

Yamaguchi: what joke?

Suga-mom: THE GAY JOKE U KEEP HINTING AT U LITTLE SHIT 

Yamaguchi: can’t recall

Suga-mom: @BossShita look at your child 

Yamaguchi: yes, please, save me

Yamaguchi: wait i can’t just say “parent”, what do we call you Ennoshita 

BossShita: hakase, u little shits

Yu_Hu: (⑉⊙ȏ⊙)

Tanka-bro: (⑉⊙ȏ⊙)(⑉⊙ȏ⊙)(⑉⊙ȏ⊙)(⑉⊙ȏ⊙)

Shou-chan: （ФоФ)（ФоФ)（ФоФ)（ФоФ)（ФоФ)

Azumane: （ФоФ)（ФоФ)

Suga-mom: they killed yall

BossShita: also, Yamaguchi, don’t talk like that to your mother

Yamaguchi: yes, Ennoshita-hakase

Azumane: please stop being disrespectful to professors you can’t use that honorific for chat jokes 

KinoShitAh: 300 yen he is afraid somehow a professor will learn what we’re doing and he’d get in trouble 

Suga-mom: seriously, nobody is taking your bets

Shou-chan: DOES THAT MEAN WE’RE NOT PLAYING VOLLEYBALL 

**KinoShitAh has blocked Shou-chan**

KinoShitAh: I needed a break

**BossShita has blocked Shou-chan**

**Extra** **™ has blocked Shou-chan**

**Narita has blocked Shou-chan**

Suga-mom: i mean i’d kill u if i was still ur mom but i get it…

Shou-chan: why i just want to play??

Suga-mom: not you honey ur doing great

Shou-chan: ????

*

**Yu_Hu has removed Shou-chan from Extra** **™’s blocked list**

**Yu_Hu has removed Shou-chan from Narita’s** **blocked list**

**Yu_Hu has removed Shou-chan from BossShita’s** **blocked list**

**Yu_Hu has removed Shou-chan from KinoShitAh’s** **blocked list**

Yu_Hu: quit being rude to shouyo!

Shou-chan: what happened? 

BossShita: nothing, child, it’s all good now

Shou-chan: did tsukkishima block me??

Extra™: That is still not how you spell my name.

Shou-chan: ok *stupidshima

Extra™: You keep doing that, I’ll draw 月島 蛍 on your forehead in ink!

Kageyama: lol he got all scared, ran to his room muttering about having to wear a bandana for the rest of the school year

Kageyama: dumbass

Yu_Hu: (⑉⊙ȏ⊙) Hinata Shodõ!! 

Tanaka-bro: (⑉⊙ȏ⊙)(⑉⊙ȏ⊙)(⑉⊙ȏ⊙)

Yamaguchi: so now the two of you are all the time together all of a sudden. Hinata stayed overnight when i was there to train yesterday? What is that about?

Narita: Maybe they are friends

KinoShitAh: like you and Tsukishima u kno

Yamaguchi: …

Extra™: We are friends. 

Yamaguchi: my thoughts exactly

Daichi: I got it

Daichi: It took too long, i am actually ashamed

Suga-mom: what is it babe?

Narita: dad? Are you ok?

Daichi: STOP CALLING ME THAT just because Ennoshita and Suga are like this……

Azumane: what did you figure out, daichi?

Daichi: There’s nothing gay about Yamaguchi, accept his boyfriend. Plus, they are friends, because why the hell wouldn’t you be friends with your partner. 

Extra™: …

Yamaguchi: …

Extra™: …

Narita: well??? Is he wrong???

Extra™: No.

Yamaguchi: 2/2, Daichi-san

Extra™: I lost money on this, I thought surely Suga-san would figure it out faster.

Yamaguchi: ∩(︶ڡ︶)∩

Extra™: Shut up, Yamaguchi.

Yamaguchi: Sorry, Tsukki 

Tanaka-bro: I mean……. What???

Narita: Fucking wht

Yu_Hu: this team is too gay to function

BossShita: better not be because tmrrw there’s practtice 

Suga-mom: EXCUSE ME is that why you’ve been so distracted @Daichi. Also quiet??

Daichi: No. I’ve been so distracted because of training, like I said. Because somebody (@Yu_Hu) got me in trouble with the team’s setter. And now I am suffering. Plus, I had exams. So I’m tired and stressed out and want to see my grumpy boyfriend but instead I read this chat before sleep so I can get my mind off things and I end up thinking “Hey what would be so funny to both Yamaguchi and Tsukishima?” The answer was obviously “messing with everybody”. I didn’t figure it out until that last bit though, about the friendship. Because Suga is my best friend.

Suga-mom: ……..

Daichi: Now my exams are over and all I want to do is use my two free days without practice OR tests to see said grumpy boyfriend even if I have to spend 3 hours on the train just in 1 direction. Instead all I do is deal with my ridiculous kouhai. 

Suga-mom: @BossShita Dad is tired. Also, he’s not going to respond to messages. I am about to yell at him. So much. For at least an hour.

BossShita: why?

Daichi: Yes why?

Azumane: I think you embarrassed him, Daichi

Yu_Hu: Daichi-san gets emotional when he’s overtired. 

BossShita: can we go back to the topic at hand please?

KinoShitAh: … practice??

BossShita: no

Extra™: *sigh* 

BossShita: yes, you, you little grump. But most importantly you @Yamaguchi, for being too cute to be mad at 

Extra™: *sigh* 

Yamaguchi: Tsukki just murmured “it’s true” （*￣□￣*；

Extra™: ┌П┐(►˛◄’!)

Yamaguchi: TSUKKI!!!

Extra™: Too many exclamation points. One more stunt like that and you’re in trouble. 

Yamaguchi: …….

Narita: omg omg has yamaguchi been typing properly just because tsukishima gets annoyed what would he sound liek if his boyfriend wasn’t a grammar goblin

**Shou-chan sent an image**

Shou-chan: maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan this is the first time my legs hurt after voilleyball yamaguchi am i getting old omg i am arent i, im getting old waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah help me

Yamaguchi: pweeese ur fine, stop panicking. w/ ur height u probably b growing at extra slow rate

Shou-chan: lol u saying in my 80s ill be toll??

Yamaguchi: toll™

Shou-chan: from little to giant

Yamaguchi: bean 2 beanpole

Yu_Hu: ………………

Kageyama: pfffffffft

BossShita: it’s like we don’t even know you

Yamaguchi: Hinata, how could you?

Extra™: We’re over.

Yamaguchi: Not funny

Extra™: ……

Extra™: Sorry? 

Yamaguchi: Forgiven. (ﾉ≧ڡ≦) Dinner?

Extra™: Oka-san is making your favourite. 

Yamaguchi: nom v(❆ڼ❆)v

Yu_Hu: ?????????????

Narita: they’re….. fucking… i can’t even…. so……….

KinoShitAh: domestic af

Tanaka-bro: they’ve known eahc other forever, let the kids be cute 

Yu_Hu: u mean like u and d Queeeeeeeeeeeen?? 

Tanaka-bro: shut up bro

Yu_Hu: are you blushiiiiing （￣￣ー￣￣）

Tanaka-bro: bro

BossShita: even the straights are a mess on this team

Yu_Hu: lol

Tanaka-bro: shut up yall

*

Azumane: we are not a mess. Tanaka is just in love, leave him be

Narita: so after careful consideration u have decided to be straight, Asahi-san?

BossShita: shut up, Kazuhito

Azumane: that is not how it works, Narita. Obviously everybody is who they are and cannot help it 

BossShita: that’s right

BossShita: I’d havve said damn straight but you know….

Yu_Hu: it would be true in Asahi’s case

Narita: u seem surprisingly cool with this

Tanaka-bro: i had to take him to the arcade

Narita: ah

BossShita: STOP EMBARRASSING YUU LIKE THAT 

Yu_Hu: thanks bubi

BossShita: whut?

Yu_Hu: bubi

Tanaka-bro: bubi

BossShita: no

Tanaka-bro: but… bubi?

BossShita: Ryu Yuu no

Narita: u r in actual trouble rn

Yu_Hu: i think we overstepped

Tanaka-bro: i am wearing ass-pads to practice tomorrow 

Yu_Hu: DO U HAVE A SPEAR

Shou-chan: yh same kageyama keeps kicking me for real esp lately it’s way too often

Yu_Hu: if u date him he might mellow out…… ʅ（´◔౪◔）ʃ

BossShita: I doubt that. These two would always have an intense realtionship regardless the form.

Yu_Hu: parents know best

BossShita: yes. now go to bed

*

Yamaguchi: For the record, idk why people would be mad. Neither of us ever said we weren’t dating. 

*

Suga-mom: thats not the point u were messing with your senpai

*

Extra™: I was wrong, I need to say this a second time. 

Extra™: lol

Suga-mom: ╚╚|░☀▄☀░|╝╝╚╚|░☀▄☀░|╝╝╚╚|░☀▄☀░|╝╝

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please drop comments to let me know how I’m doing. Or perhaps you can guess the topic of next chapter? Here’s a teaser: 
> 
> Narita: Neither did Asahi-san yet look at this damn picture!!!  
> Narita: i am still awe  
> Yamaguchi: uuum… why were you taking a picture?  
> Suga-mom: don’t be jealous  
> BossShita: oh that’s where they went during practice. those fuckers. both of them are running laps.


	5. And They Were Roommates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asahi visits Karasuno over a break and all hell breaks loose. Somebody finally calls Daichi "daddy" and he. Absolutely. Hates. It.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I couldn't post the chapter last week, but a giant THANK YOU to all of you who commented. You keep me fueled with writer energy <3
> 
> Click the link under the image to follow it to its source! Please let me know if this wasn't the original, although I tried to reverse image search to make sure. ^_^

Suga-mom: so Oikawa and Iwaizumi are dating which surprises no one. But what surprises me is that they are the “we hold hands at all times” couple. It’ssickeningly sweet i am bothered.

Azumane: is volleyball just a gay sport? Is that something that’s a thing? Genuinely curious? 

Yu_Hu: yes

BossShita: probably 

Daichi: in some places girls playing volleyball are often “accused” of loving women especially if they commit to a hairstyle which makes it easier for them to play sports. It’s rude and unfair, esp bc there’s nothing wrong with loving women

Tanaka-bro: damn right

Yu_Hi: but not damn straight

Yamaguchi: sometimes it’s damn bi

Kageyama: …

Kageyama: sure pan? 

Yu_Hu: sure thing, kageyama, u barely functional human

BossShita: gay disaster

Suga-mom: he does not represent us

Yu_Hu: loooooooool

Kageyama: Suga-saaaan!

Shou-chan: bwahahaha

Kageyama: SHUT UP HINATA YOU DAMN DUMBAAAAS

Extra™: I don’t know how you could manage to spell “dumbass” with too many A and too few S. I am… dumbfounded. 

Yamaguchi: Suga-san why are you sickened by Oikawa-san and Iwaizumi-san holding hands? Aren’t they cute?

Suga-mom: extra cute. it confuses me. they are too intense to be cute. they bother me.

Tanaka-bro: wait wasn’t Daichi-san supposed to be visiting you this time??

Daichi: We changed it up, there was a concert here we wanted to see together 

Daichi: Also, you get used to seeing Iwaizumi and Oikawa nuzzling together all over the place. Especially since 0.4 seconds later the moment is over and it’s the good old yelling insults and throwing hands all over again. Not much of a difference really. 

Shou-chan: Aww mom and dad had a date

Daichi: I am NOT your dad

Suga-mom: do’t listen to daddy honey we had a wonderful daaaate

Yu_Hu: lol. daddy 

Daichi: No. This is exactly why I didn’t want to be called that. I knew this would happen. Quit it now.

Suga-mom: ….

Daichi: Do. Not.

Suga-mom: yes daddy

Daichi: YOU DID IT 

Yu_Hu: he did it daddy

Daichi: No

Azumane: Anywaaaaaaay My exams are over, I’ll be stopping by at home for the weekend. I could stop by at training if you’d like?

BossShita: Please do, Asahi-san. I’ll talk to Coach but I’m sure it would be more than fine to have you. 

Yamaguchi: get him on the B team so we can kick your Aasses

Extra™: Not if I shut him out

Yamaguchi: no dirty talk in the common chat honey

BossShita: ….. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yu_Hu: WHAT TH EFUCK JUST HAPPENED 

Suga-mom: loooooooooooooool i died

Daichi: I don’t want to know ANYTHING about my kohai’s intimate lives!

Suga-mom: I thought Japan had long and proud history of same-sex love? 

Daichi: GROUP CHATS WEREN’T PART OF THAT HISTORY SUGAWARA KOUSHI

Suga-mom: oh full name. and he’s blishing it might have gone too far

Extra™: It did. Yamaguchi, why in all hell would you say that?

Yamaguchi: I am a bisexual flirt and I have been hiding it for too long? 

Extra™: *sigh* 

Extra™: Also, don’t call me honey, that’s embarrassing. 

Yamaguchi: Sorry, Tsukki

Narita: I learned too much in a too short time, I think my brain is shutting down in protest

BossShita: like your brain isn’t usually shut down 

Narita: why do you treat me like this? 

BossShita: …

Narita: omg i was joking, i wasn’t taking it seriously

BossShita: oh ok. I was worried there for a moment. 

BossShita: trust me if i was seriously scolding you, you’d know

Yu_Hu: oh we all know

Narita: yh we do 

Shou-chan: brrrrr 

BossShita: good

*

**Extra™ sent a picture**

[click to open in new tab](https://66.media.tumblr.com/a28f3815fd55a06ffbc799cc4751cb3a/tumblr_o2xdhwmSsX1tyrlxro3_500.png)

KinoShitAh: WHUT? WHEN?

Suga-mom: holy fuck 

Tanaka-bro: YUUUUU WELL DONE MY BRO YOU GET HIIIIM 

Tanaka-bro: ASAHI-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN YOU COULDN’T HAVE CHOSEN A BETTER MAN accept me obv but i don’t go that way

Narita: Neither did Asahi-san yet look at this damn picture!!!

Narita: i am still awe

Yamaguchi: uuum… why were you taking a picture? 

Suga-mom: don’t be jealous

BossShita: oh that’s where they went during practice. those fuckers. both of them are running laps.

Extra™: I took a picture because they both claimed they weren’t hooking up and I delight in breaking people.

Shou-chan: … at least u got selfawareness or whateveer

Extra™: *Self-awareness. Yes, I do.

Extra™: I would like to add they didn’t even notice I opened the storage room door or that I took a picture using flash.

Suga-mom: years of thirsting make you like this

Kageyama: i don’t understand any of you

Narita: Kageyama, we are glad you are a volleyball monster bc it helps us win but in this chat……. You are the weird one, man

Suga-mom: volleyball-sexual

Shou-chan: hes nfjlfkgjkl ;fkwdkefkeopfk4l

Yamaguchi: ? Hinata? Are you ok? 

Kageyama: he’s busy cant talk bye 

BossShita: didn’t Hinata say very VERY loudly that he’s going HOME ALONE

Narita: he did…

Tanaka-bro: A PROBLEM FOR ANOTHER TIME where even are @Azumane and @Yu_Hu

Daichi: Leave them alone already. They probably need to figure out a lot.

Suga-mom: Yes didn’t you specifically say that after a conversation with Asahi you thought he surely wouldn’t be attracted to men because he’d said he never felt these sort of things? 

Daichi: He just didn’t seem to relate to any of the things we spoke about. But that’s still his business, maybe he figured something out. Maybe he’s trying something out which is fine. Maybe you need to leave them alone. 

Suga-mom: don’t tell me how to live my life

Daichi: *sigh* 

BossShita: if any of u bully our genius libero i will make u pay

Extra™: Don’t be like that, Ennoshita-san!

BossShita: Do you even dare anyway?

Extra™: I plead the fifth. 

Suga-mom: …. We’re in JAPAN. JAPAN.

Extra™: The Internet is a free space.

Azumane: o m g

Azumane: TSUKISHIMA WHY??

**Azumane has left the chat**

Suga-mom: holy fuck

Daichi: I told you. He got overwhelmed, you shouldn’t have.

Suga-mom: I’m calling him but he isn’t picking up.

Daichi: Let him be

Yu_Hu: HOLY FUCK TSUKISHIMA I WILL MURDER YOU 

Yu_Hu: you don’t get to mess with my privacy without payback bitch i will bury you

Yu_Hu: im following Asahi, I need space, @BossShita, you get my admin privileges whne i come back Tsukishima will suffer

Extra™: It was a public space to be fair…

Tanaka-bro: wai bro don’t leave we are happy for you

Tanaka-bro: we need to celebrate do u want to celebrate of course not u want to be with you boyfriend while he’s here right but pls call me anyway

Yu_Hu: talk later bro

Yu_Hu: dont care Tsukishima u die soon

**Yu_Hu has left the chat**

Shou-chan: nice to have known u Shityshima 

Extra™: Please tell me none of you would have taken a picture if you’ve caught me kissing Yamaguchi

Narita: oh absolutely. but we’re not scared of you,

Tanaka-bro: nah Asahi-san is easily embarrassed and Yuu is a great protective boyfriend. I mean Tsukishima is dead but it wasn’t his fault 

KinoShitAh: u rly need to pick ur battles 

BossShita: nobody is dying, ill talk to yuu. But all of you should listen to Daichi and leave them alone. Not like yall don’t have relationship dirty laundry to bring out…..

Yamaguchi: pls don’t 

BossShita: then behave 

Yamaguchi: I’ve done nothing

BossShita: control you rboyfriend 

Extra™: I should have tried to catch the King and Hinata, would have been safer.

Yamaguchi: Oh now he thinks of it

Shou-chan: there’s nothing to catch

Suga-mom: oh honey

Narita: pls bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are all loved and cherished <3 
> 
> Next time: Tanaka gives Ennoshita a speech, Ennoshita gives everyone in Karasuno a speech, and our favourite shy Ace returns! ^_^ 
> 
> Kageyama: Ennoshita-san’s been rude?? Haven’t notced  
> Shou-chan: stay out of it i don’t want u 2 die like Tanaka-san  
> Shou-chan: im sry u r dying tanaka-san  
> Tanaka-bro: im not QUIT SAYING THAT  
> Narita: rip  
> Yamaguchi: rip  
> Extra™: RIP  
> Shou-chan: rip  
> Tanaka-bro: I SAID QUIT IT


	6. The Arrival Of The Ace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asahi is still dealing with the consequences of the picture being posted to the chat but he gets an unlikely suporter in Tsukishima. Ennoshita has been on edge, enough that Tanaka needs to run intervention. Hinata gets his first relationship lesson. TsukkiYama accidentally reveal something about their relationship which knocks Hinata off his chair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's getting a bit harder to get chapters out so I'll probably switch to once-a-month updates. Some more comments on what you'd like to see would help though, I'd love to try working things into the plan I have! ^_^

Yamaguchi: so he was messing around with the controller, pretending he can actually play, as if i couldn’t catch what a complete disaster he is, he couldn’t even aim after talking shit for ages 

Shou-chan: u could hgave just called him out?” 

Yamaguchi: why would i let him off the hook he is so fun when he tries to be “cool”

Extra™: I appreciate you endlessly when you are like this with nii-chan. He needs a bit of asskicking. 

BossShita: u nbeed asskicking but i don’t tell you that

Extra™: You do. All the time.

BossShita: ...details

Extra™: Key details.

BossShita: whatever

Extra™: Have you noticed you’ve been a bit down lately, Ennoshita-san?

BossShita: eh?!

Yamaguchi: Tsukki, don’t

Extra™: I do what I want. 

BossShita: et tu, Yamaguchi? 

Yamaguchi: I said nothing

BossShita: u agree with him though

Tanaka-bro: quit grilling the second years, Chikara, you’ve been short with all of us since the Asahi and Yuu incident 

Narita: ...... yall wanna die do ya 

BossShita: shut up. If ive been a bad captain why has nobody told me? @Tanaka-bro that’s your job as vice captain u kno

Tanaka-bro: … 

BossShita: and don’t you say ‘i just did’ bc u didn’t it was Tsukishima of all people 

Narita: #rip

Extra™: What do you mean, “Tsukishima of all people”?  
BossShita: i said shut up

Tanaka-bro: u havent been a bad captain uve just been more grumpy and were worried i know u r trying to figure out how to help yuu and reach the former 3rd years but u can’t fix the world not if ur overtired and rude

Kageyama: Ennoshita-san’s been rude?? Haven’t notced

Shou-chan: stay out of it i don’t want u 2 die like Tanaka-san

Shou-chan: im sry u r dying tanaka-san

Tanaka-bro: im not QUIT SAYING THAT 

Narita: rip

Yamaguchi: rip

Extra™: RIP

Shou-chan: rip

Tanaka-bro: I SAID QUIT IT 

Yamaguchi: I miss Suga-san, he encouraged our antics 

BossShita: did you just say something to dismiss all the wonderful things Tanaka has done to support you, your boyfriend, your friends, and every first year who set foot in our gym? 

Extra™: I can’t believe I lost my boyfriend and best friend in such a tragic accident. 

Yamaguchi: TSUKKI!!!! I’m not dead!!

Extra™: I can still hear his voice sometimes

Narita: lol meme savvy Tsukishima that’s scary 

Extra™: Somebody has to run a blog for Yamaguchi’s art and he’s too nervous to do it. Too bad I have to tell his fans we’ll see no more of his drawings now he’s passed. 

Yamaguchi: QUIT IT

Extra™: So tragic.

BossShita: i know you’re all fucking around bc this is a chat and you’re not realising the consequences of your actions fully but let me tell you, it’s really disrespectful to Tanaka that you would not appreciate how easily he supports your passions, how he plays along with your fulery esp when it is to protect the team, how to heart he takes everything concerning the club and our players. So for you to come whining Suga-san isn’t here to fuck around with you like that’s why you’re in this club?? You can go if that’s why you’re here but i knopw somebody who trained every evening until he perfected a serve technique isn’t with us out of nothing else to do so why are you saying such inconsiderate things, Yamaguchi? 

BossShita: it’s exactly the same thing Tsukishima did when he posted that picture. It’s all fun and games until you actually hurt somebody. So stop and check yourselves for a minute before you press the enter, and i don\t mean all the horrible spelling

  


*

Shou-chan: @Kageyama this is wha i meant when i said dying 

Kageyama: that wasn’t leathal it was just honesty. he ll be fine

Shou-chan: cold Kageyama cold

*

Suga-mom: @Yamaguchi it was very sweet of you to miss me but Ennoshita is right. I hope you apologised off-chat

Yamaguchi: i did i feel so bad (;﹏;)

Extra™: He’s been fretting the entire day

Suga-mom: Have you apologised to Nishinoya and Asahi?

BossShita: he has not but tbh yuu is not making ti easy either

Extra™: I maintain he would have done the same to me

Suga-mom: maybe but neither you nor yamaguchi would have been upset over it just bitter. Asahi is not like either of you, this hurt him

Shou-chan: SUGA SAN YOU ARE BACK ARE ALL THE SENPAIS BACK

Suga-mom: nop child just me, tbh i was just busy with coursework. Daichi is doing damage control. Asahi is still upset. 

Shou-chan: aurgh Shityshima just apologissse

Extra™: If Asahi-san tells me I did something wrong I’ll think about it. 

Yamaguchi: Tsukki stop pretending you are emotionally constipated when we both know better it’s getting out of hand we got it you’re not handling making a mistake well just call Asahi-san damn it

Suga-mom: listen to your boyfriend child

Shou-chan: wow yamaguchi tell im

Extra™: Shut up, bean.

Shou-chan: beanpole

Extra™: Not exactly offensive for a volleyball player. A bean however…

Yamaguchi: GO FIX THIS OR YOU’RE NOT GETTING

Yamaguchi: you know what

Suga-mom: LOLOLOL I’ve never heard sex being called “you know what” before

Extra™: That’s incredibly embarrassing. Just for the record, this vile threat is not why I’m calling Asahi-san.

KinoShitAh: sure it isn’t lol

KinoShitAh: this chat is so wild i don’t log in for 3 days and hell has broken loose why is karasuno like this

Suga-mom: u tell me when u find out

Shou-chan: wait you’re having sex @Yamaguchi @Extra™ ???? that’s a thing for highschool couples why isn’t that too early ⊙△⊙

Suga-mom: @BossShita

Yamaguchi: .( ̵˃﹏˂̵ )

Suga-mom: you did this to yourself. again.

Yamaguchi: mgawgrrr

BossShita: Hinata, you don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with. You definitely shouldn’t do things your partner isn’t comfortable with. If it’s too early for you, there’s no pressure. If you are never ready, that’s fine too, you’re just going to have to see whether your partner wants sexual intimacy and how you’ll negotiate between you. Maybe they get it some place else? Maybe you need to separate and find people who suit you better? Stuff like that.

Shou-chan: i don’t think i was ready to know any of these things i am sooooo ༼ ಥ﹏لಥ ༽ ᵘgᵍʰ idk how to handle this 

Tanaka-bro: @Shou-chan don’t ever let anybody brainwash you into thinking you’re chasing milestones in relationships Hinata!!! U should do what makes u and ur girl happy WHAT IF SHE ISNT READY AND YOU THINK SHE IS SO YOU PRESSUR EHER that would be the worst always think about your partner too dont give two shits about society and those modern movies just do you hinataaa

BossShita: that sounded personal tbh. but Hinata is bi, so it can be a boy

KinoShitAh: u spelled Kageyama wrong lol

BossShita: how about we don’t meddle rn since the consequences of the last time haven’t passed yet hmmmm???

KinoShitAh: i have not meddled pls don’t murder me

BossShita: ah-haaaaaaaam ＼(；￢_￢)

Suga-mom: @Tanaka-bro u havent actually… pressured anybody right? That doesn’t sound like you

Tanaka-bro: SUGA SAN how would u ask me that i would never hurt any girl like that esp Kanoka what even is this question

KinoShitAh: …

KinoShitAh: this wasn’t me

BossShita: *sigh* this one’s fair game he played himself

Tanaka-bro: NO PLEASE DONT ASK ME ANYTHING IVE PROMISED TO NOT BRAG PLEASE DONT SAY ANYTHING SHE IS TOO PRECIOUS TO ME 

Suga-mom: we won’t, Ryuu calm down we’re happy for you and im proud ur able to teach our kouhai about consent and relationship respect

Shou-chan: tanaka-san is so good with his feelings i know he’d give me good advice 

Tanaka-bro: HAHAAAAA sou sou im the best at advice

BossShita: I wouldn’t go that far

Tanaka-bro: let me have this Chikara

BossShita: fine fine

*

BossShita: @everyone, listen up you little shits

BossShita: except you Hinata, you’re a precious sunshine and we’re lucky to have you

Narita: lol

BossShita: Asahi-san has asked me to add him back to this chat. THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU GET TO HARASS HIM. he’s going to need everything to be as usual, minus you peep-toming pictures of him snogging his bf. Questions before I get him back here?

Shou-chan: are they bfs?

BossShita: idk let’s not ask

Shou-chan: k

**BossShita has added Azumane**

Narita: welcome baaaack 

Azumane: i’m asexual and i love Noya

Narita: …

Narita: this wasn’t me i didnt do this

Azumane: haha it was Tsukishima. We spoke for an hour or something.

Extra™: It was three hours. Three.

Azumane: omg i am so sorryyyyy ଵ˛̼ଵ 

Extra™: I survived.

Narita: what in the hells

Azumane: anyway we spoke for three hours, he pointed out my feelings sounded like asexuality, he explained it, and then i thought about it (also read about it), and now i know that’s me. asexual. so yea.

Extra™: @Narita *hell

Extra™: We remember that conversation so differently, Asahi-san.

Azumane: why what did i saay? ꒰๑´ඹ.̫ ඹ `๑꒱

Narita: I said hells and i meant it

Extra™: You spent a rather long time expressing all your feelings to me. 

Azumane: oh gawd oh no was i overbearing was it horrible i am so sorry Tsukishima! ~( ~´･_･`)~~( ~´･_･`)~~( ~´･_･`)~~( ~´･_･`)~

BossShita: u deserved it, it was ur payment for damages caused, get over it and move on

Extra™: Will I be left alone now?

BossShita: @Azumane do you forgive Tsukishima for the picture

Azumane: nonono that’s fine i just panicked because i was afraid i’d have to break up with Noya (๑′°︿°๑) bc you know there is no sexual attraction when you’re asexual so i thought either there was something fucked up or maybe i was confused and didn’t like noya so i didn’t want to string him along so anywayyyy i am happy now. Tsukishima helped and I am super grateful. (•̀o•́) (•̀o•́) (•̀o•́)

Azumane: i just get so stressed imagining how terrible it would have been after you’ve seen that picture ~(>_<~) then we’re broken up omg poor Yuu no 

Tanaka-bro: breathe, Asahi-san, you’re not borken up right? RIGHT?

Yamaguchi: I imagined Tsukki listening to that, on the phone, for 3 hours, and I am rofling

Extra™: Shut up, Yamaguchi

Yamaguchi: Sorry Tsukki!

Azumane: @Tanaka-bro no we aren’t but i still haven’t talked to him about being ace i am so nervous

BossShita: you’ll figure it out, I’m sure

\-------------

Daichi: FOR FUCKS SAKE ASAHI YOU WIMP JUST CALL YOUR BOYFRIEND YOU ARE THE ACE YOU ARE A POWERHOUSE WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS IN REAL LIFE

*

**Yu_Hu joined the chat**

**Yu_Hu changed their name to Noya-pan**

**Noya-pan changed Azumane’s name to mah_exclusive_boo**

Noya-pan: I’m back bitches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: more relationship advice for Hinata and Ennoshita shows off his sex ed knowledge. Some Noya-Kageyama queer solidarity but Kageyama is as much of an awkward bean as ever. <3 
> 
> [Noya-pan: what in the hell I am NOT a sex crazed idiot.  
> Noya-pan: I just like it when beautiful people give me attention adn touch me and maybe would like to get it on and ok i am a sex crazed idiot  
> Noya-pan: shut up  
> Narita: @mah_exclusive_boo how do you put up with that?  
> Noya-pan: 凸〳 ಥ ڡ ಥ 〵凸  
> mah_exclusive_boo: i am too dead from training to answer that. I love noya, we have our ways.  
> Noya-pan: (´ε｀ )♡  
> mah_exclusive_boo: stop it noyaaa  
> Noya-pan: sry boo  
> mah_exclusive_boo: *sigh* ( *∵* )( *∵* )]


	7. Sex Ed 101 - Porn And The Relationship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Narita is NOT a sexed crazed idiot. He is NOT. Hinata has a girlfriend now.  
> The sex ed I promised ;) It is revealed Yamaguchi and Tsukishima practice... communication! The shock, the scandal, the shame!
> 
> (this chapter was mistakenly skipped because I couldn't wait to bring Kuroo in? xd Or because I am an idiot, I haven't decided yet.)

Shou-chan: @Extra™ would you please pick up your damn phone i asked yamagucvhi he sais you have iut on u stupidshimaaaaaaaaa

Extra™: First of all, no

Second of all, @Yamaguchi - traitor!

Yamaguchi: oops

Shou-chan: OMNG COME OOOON I NEED TO KNOW IF IM ACEXUAL 

Yamaguchi: LOL ACEsexual: that gay with a crush on all the aces.

Suga-mom: one ACEsexual and one VOLLEYsexual on this wreck of a team

BossShita: their plays score points nobody is complaining. 

BossShita: also @Extra™ just pick up the phone and talk to him

Extra™: NO, I refuse, I am not the damn asexuality-whisperer

Shou-chan: STINGYSHIMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AURGFKJGAKJDGHKAHD 

BossShita: I can call you, Hinata, we’ll figure it out, quit panicking just give me a minute. 

Shou-chan: oh thanks you thank you thankyoooou Ennoshita-senpaaai <3 <3 <3 

Suga-mom: @Shou-chan why do u even think you’re asexual, you’re not actually confusing it with being an Ace, right???

Extra™: …Why did you think I wasn’t picking up the phone? He probably is doing just that.

Daichi: I would defend our excitable kouhai but I am afraid of being wrong.

Shou-chan: !!!! Daichi-saaaaaaaan dont say that about me just as u come back beign mean is stupidshimas thiiing

Daichi: Sorry, Hinata

Shou-chan: i know what asexuality is, Asahi san send me one link and sex is scary oK i don’t think i can do that

Shou-chan: esp not all those things ive been seeing in porn u kno

Suga-mom: OMG HINATA

Yamaguchi: OMG HINATA WTF

Extra™: Please, somebody murder me.

Daichi: Hinata, NO! @BossShita, fix this right now right now right now!

BossShita: @Shou-chan here or call?

Shou-chan: whats wrong with u, what did i even say y is everyone screaming at meee

BossShita: here then. Hinata, porn is not the way sex works. This talk is for all of you, btw, so listen up @Yamaguchi @Extra™ @Noya-pan @Narita i know yall need this so pay fucking attention 

Extra™: What made you believe I need this exactly?

Narita: bc ur just a dick 

Yamaguchi: lol. but also, why me? why us? why must we?

Shou-chan: ???? but ppl in pron have sex

BossShita: So! Sex can be like porn, but that is only if the people engaging in it have agreed upon it. Sex in itself is a human interaction, thus like all human interactions it can be harsh or gentle, slow or fast-paced, rough or kind, loving or hate-filled (hate sex is a thing), impersonal or involved. You can’t judge sex from porn, because for the most part (like 80-90%), it’s about more impersonal interactions. Even if there’s some story accompanying it, it’s still a fact the actors in it are simply doing a job, and therfore performing any affection, not actually experiencing it. You can’t judge rl human relationships by film or porn or books or whatever. Those of us who create media try to represent or interpret life on screen but i assure you porn is not really trying to express intimacy it’s just scratching an itch. Porn is just about basic sexual urges, which is also ok and you cna totally watch porn if you like it BUT WHEN YOU START HAVING SEX YOU DON’T IMMITATE THAT BEHAVIOUR UNLESS YOU AND YOUR PARTNER(S) ENJOY THAT.

BossShita: it’s not the standard for sex. that’s it. lesson over. class dismissed. get wrecked. 

Extra™: Literally (and you know I mean it since I use this word sparingly), neither me nor Yamaguchi needed this talk. I don’t understand why we were called out. We’ve been friends for years and boyfriends for months - we actually know how to communicate. Thank you and goodbye.

BossShita: bitch i don’t know your life maybe you suck and not in a good way

Yamaguchi: omg Tsukkiiiii why would you say that 

Yamaguchi: *hides in a cave*

BossShita: be embarrassed all you want but you better come out of the cave for practice or else

Narita: MOST IMPORTANTLY idk why I was called out, what if the others think im a sexed crazed idiot like yuu???

Tanaka-bro: no u r just acting big only online and irl u r an embarassed ass who cant cut himself any slack 

Narita: …

Shou-chan: TANAKA SENPAI WONT YOU DEFEND NOYA SENPAIS HONOUR

Tanaka-bro: no, he IS a sex crazed idiot lol

Shou-chan: woooaaaaaaaah

BossShita: Most importantly, Hinata, what are you thinking now, about sex?

Shou-chan: idk where do I get examples of good sex? 

Narita: apparently, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi lol

Tanaka-bro: i wasnt surprised those dorks love each other obviously even if one fo them is salty af and the other is secretly a bad bitch 

BossShita: let’s quit embarrassing them i am surprised Tsukishima didn’t leave the chat

Yamaguchi: he muted it tho

Yamaguchi: ARE YOU CALLING ME A BAD BITCH TANAKA-SAN?!

Tanaka-bro: yes u got a mouth on u but we established it’s good for tsukkishima so its ok

Yamaguchi: this chat is draining my life force omg 

Tanaka-bro: lol see? bad bitch

Shou-chan: idk it sounds scary and idk if my gf is expecting it of me at all? what if she is? what if we break up bc of that??

Shou-chan: imma gonna be sick now

BossShita: Wait you have a girlfriend? 

Tanaka-bro: HINATAAAAAAAAA

BossShita: Are you sure you don’t want me to call? 

Shou-chan: yh ok 

*

Noya-pan: what in the hell I am NOT a sex crazed idiot. 

Noya-pan: I just like it when beautiful people give me attention adn touch me and maybe would like to get it on and ok i am a sex crazed idiot

Noya-pan: shut up

Narita: @mah_exclusive_boo how do you put up with that?

Noya-pan: 凸〳 ಥ ڡ ಥ 〵凸

mah_exclusive_boo: i am too dead from training to answer that. I love noya, we have our ways.

Noya-pan: (´ε｀ )♡

mah_exclusive_boo: stop it noyaaa

Noya-pan: sry boo

mah_exclusive_boo: *sigh* ( *∵* )( *∵* )

mah_exclusive_boo: ( *¯ ³¯*)♡( *¯ ³¯*)♡

Narita: aww ya cute 

Noya-pan: i need to go bye

Narita: @KinoShitAh i would actually like to bet you 300 yen he went to “ relieve some tension” 

mah_exclusive_boo: stop 

*

KinoShitAh: now i know why nobody was taking my bets

Yamaguchi: lol

*

Noya-pan: so can we talk about @Shou-chan having a gf?

Tanaka-bro: ive been trying not to as per Ennoshita’s instructions but i am DYING inside 

Shou-chan: i can tell you about Ha-Yun, she’s a neighbour who lives in a farm close to my house and we used to ride our bikes together as kids and one time she carried me home when i fell down and hurt my toes rly bad it was rly sweet of her anyway i like her very mcuh and we hang out every evening before carfew she smells sweet and i like kissing her

Noya-pan: wow

Tanaka-bro: wow INDEED wow well done Hinata you got a strong gf she’s probably taller than you isn’t lol

Shou-chan: she is it’s very nice

Noya-pan: wait wait wait Ha-Yun is not a Japanese name!!!

Noya-pan: are you dating a foreigner WHAT SORT OF PLAYAH ARE YOU SHOUYOOOO

Shou-chan: ohoh yea Ha-Yun’s family is Korean she’s been teaching me words it’s so fun and so much easier than English can i take Koerean as a second language pleeeease

Tanaka-bro: heeeeeeeee if our school had Korean you would have had an excuse to have her over as your tutor maaaaan

Shou-chan: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah that would have worked why is life unfair i want to study Korean

Tanaka-bro: fear not, young lover, you’ll find another way

Noya-pan: Ryu is plotting ways to get Hinata and his girlfriend alone in a room but I am somehow the sex-crazed idiot???

Tanaka-bro: I WASNT TRYING FOR THAT REASN OMG YUU WTF

BossShita: I think you just played yourself 

Noya-pan: WERE YOU HERE ALL THIS TIME

BossShita: yes i am keeping an eye on my child hinata

Shou-chan: aaaw thank you Ennoshita-senpai

BossShita: did u just… 

BossShita: you’re welcome

Shou-chan: i am not trying to have sex with Ha-Yun, I don’t think i want that yet, it sounds scary. Too much responsibility, i’ll be nervous. 

Shou-chan: ⋆* ⁑⋆* (๑•﹏•)⋆* ⁑⋆*

Shou-chan: maybe when we’re graduated and if she wants to be in charge idk smt liek that i dont wven want to think about ti rn

BossShita: ok if sex makes you want to puke then maybe don’t have it

Noya-pan: so you’re planning to be with her for long then, eh, Shouyou? 

Tanaka-bro: what a question yuu what us the point of being with somebody if you dont plan on it being long-term stringing along is not polite 

Noya-pan: i need to check for reasons ok

Shou-chan: yes Noya0senpai, i like her very much and she makes me calm and i dont’ have to stress about the sex stuff

Noya-pan: calm? 

Tanaka-bro: calm? Hinata calm?

BossShita: stay with her i like her already

Tanaka-bro: she needs to come before matches when you’re nervous. Invite her.

Shou-chan: ahahaha 

Shou-chan: ill ask

*

Noya-pan: sry bro

Kageyama: ??

Kageyama: why, i spractice cancelled? 

Noya-pan: about Shouyou and his girlfriend

Kageyama: ah. ok. 

Kageyama: is that why you are sending me private message

Noya-pan: u need to talk about it?

Kageyama: no

Noya-pan: ok

*

Suga-mom: Hinata calm?

mah_exclusive_boo: Hinata calm? w(°ｏ°)w 

Narita: Hinata calm???

KinoShitAh: (r we all doing this now?)

Narita: (yh)

KinoShitAh: (k then)

KinoShitAh: Hinata calm?

*

Shou-chan: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN BE CALM

*

Extra™: (ﾉ￣д￣)ﾉ

Extra™: idiot

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: Kuroo comes in with a secret plot! 
> 
> Please comment! ^_^
> 
> [Daichi: OYAOYAOYA Karasunooo  
> KinoShitAh: who broke Daich-san?  
> Kageyama: is Daich-san ok?  
> Tanaka-bro: Daichi-san, do you need help, do we need to come to Tokyo and rescue you?  
> Daichi: it’s not Daichi-san, it’s Kuroo, i… borrowed his phone]


	8. With Their Soft Paws, Cats Sneak Everywhere Undetected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is that time of the year... it is... Kuroo tiiiiime. Our favourite cat captain sneaks his way into the Karasuno chat with a nefarious purpose. It's a gay purpose.  
> Daichi is an overprotective boyfriend, Yamaguchi has no chill, and Hinata is still the shrimp.   
> Also, Kenma.
> 
> Welcome to me trying to get Kageyama and Hinata together while introducing a new relationship dynamic. Love me or hate me *sigh*

Daichi: OYAOYAOYA Karasunooo

KinoShitAh: who broke Daich-san?

Kageyama: is Daich-san ok? 

Tanaka-bro: Daichi-san, do you need help, do we need to come to Tokyo and rescue you? 

Daichi: it’s not Daichi-san, it’s Kuroo, i… borrowed his phone

Suga-mom: YOU STOLE IT and try to SEXT ME quite unsuccessfully you are a terrible flirt Kuroo

Daichi: I am NOT i am a wonderful flirt thank you very much. You don’t appreciate my fine loving techniques 

Suga-mom: ew no

Daichi: how dare you

Suga-mom: return the phone to my boyfriend you imposter 

Shou-chan: KUROO-SAAAAAN 

Daichi: SHIRMPYYY-CHAAAAN 

Shou-chan: eh i’ll ignore that

Shou-chan: how are you doing is it fun to play with the gRand King is he still rude to Daichi-san????

Daichi: wow you are worse than Lev which is saying something

Daichi: almost as bad as Bokuto tbh

Daichi: anyway, 1. I’m fantastic, my chemistry course is easier than i expected, so i might actually transfer to something more challenging or i’ll get bored. I’ll have to see what the university would let me do. 2. It’s mildly amusing to annoy the living shit out of Oikawa, then lay waste to our opponents in the same breath. We pissed off Iwaizumi when we played against them and kicked their sorry asses. It was beautiful. 3. He is so terrible to Daichi and i can’t do anything to stop him. That bitch holds a grudge like it’s nobody’s business

Suga-mom: tbh Daichi doesn’t make it easy by refusing to admit Oikawa is a better setter than Kageyama. 

Shou-chan: oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh o.o why isn’t it true?

Kageyama: SHUT UP 

Kageyama: hello, Kuroo-san

Daichi: hey there, Kageyama-kun, long time no see. Still obsessed with volleyball

Kageyama:... yes?

Daichi: aaah, as i thought, as i thought…

Daichi: also, Shrimpy, i don’t think it’s necessarily true. I watched you till the end at Nationals, you know, already then Kageyama seems to have outgrown all that caution which was holding him back. Now i can’t imagine what he’s capable of, after another 5 months of practice. (I say 5 bc i don’t imagine he stops during breaks.)

Tanaka-bro: he’s terrifying and we love it

Kageyama: thanks?

Tanaka-bro: ur welcome 

Suga-mom: i dont care if it’s true or not, Daichi is just too proud to concede and he’s getting tortured for it

Daichi: agreed but if it was me i would have done the same

Suga-mom: you are no help get out. And return this phone to my boyfriend god damn it, before you embarrass yourself further with your shity flirting 

Daichi: lies, i am a delight. a sexy delight.

Suga-mom: pffffffffffffffffffffffffftt

Daichi: how do i add myself to this thing??

Suga-mom: no

Shou-chan: YES

Extra™: Actually, yes.

Daichi: Who’s that second one?

Tanaka-bro: idk who on our team is extra s fukc? Mmm? \

Daichi: ah it’s Tsukki 

Extra™: I take that as a compliment. 

Daichi: of course you would

Shou-chan: @Noya-pan would you add Kuroo-san????!!

Suga-mom: Yuu no

Noya-pan: wait what?

Noya-pan: lemme read back

Noya-pan: idk if i should. sounds like a bad idea

Daichi: pleeeease?

Noya-pan: who is this again?

Tanaka-bro: the former Captain of Nekoma

Noya-pan: ah yea rooster head? the one who did the time difference attack, which was a little hard to get?

Daichi: A Little? HA! Bro please. 

Noya-pan: I said what I said. Yaku-san would agree.

Daichi: Yaku can kiss my ass and so can you.

Noya-pan: tnx but i have a boyfriend

Suga-mom: bwahahahaah ok i love this please add him so you can roast him

Daichi: all of a sudden i’m not so sure…

Noya-pan: gimme a minute

**Noya-pan added Kuroo Tetsurou to the chat**

**Noya-pan changed Kuroo Tetsurou’s name to Rooster-head**

Rooster-head: bruh you have no place to criticise my hairstyle tbh

Noya-pan: EXCUSE ME

BossShita: lol

BossShita: but also don’t speak like that to my child

Tanaka-bro: hey how dare you Captain-san, Noya’s hair is COOL

Rooster-head: you need a new definition of “cool”, Roudy-kun

Noya-pan: （╯°□°）╯︵( .o.)

Rooster-head: lol too easy

*

Daichi: @Rooster-head if you ever again write anything like this to my boyfriend, I will hurt you

Tanaka-bro: holy shit i am terrified and that’s not directed at me IM NOT EVEN GAY 

Daichi: Relax, Tanaka

Rooster-head: so i AM a good flirt, after all ೭੧(❛〜❛✿)੭೨

Daichi: I won’t give you another warning

Rooster-head: possessive possessive 

Suga-mom: that was not even flirting it was just terrible 

Daichi: which is a shock since he flirts with everybody all the time

Rooster-head: Come on, I don’t mean anything by it, I’ll never act on it anyway, so don’t worry. 

Suga-mom: oh no? 

Rooster-head: Why would you like me to?

Daichi: I swear….

Rooster-head: kidding kidding

Rooster-head: no, i’m demisexual and so far i’ve been attracted to one person ever and it didn’t work out so idk if i’m much interested in trying again

Shou-chan: was it Kenma? what’s demisexual why are there so many words??????

Suga-mom: a wild Hinata appears!

Rooster-head: no we’re just friends why do people keep asking 

Daichi: You fight like an old married couple.

Rooster-head: well with being the way i am, if i was to be attracted to Kenma, it would have happened already - we’re as close as it gets. So no, it was not Kenma. 

Suga-mom: Yaku

Rooster-head: leave me alone

Suga-mom: lol I guessed right

Rooster-head: i don’t like this chat so much anymore

Extra™: All we do is meddle in people’s love lives, you should have known this would happen.

Suga-mom: btw where did Hinata go?

Extra™: Quite likely bothering Ennoshita-san to explain to him what demisexual is.

Suga-mom: ah yea of course. that bisexual disaster

**Rooster-head changed their name to Kuro**

Kuro: wait Hinata is bi? I thought he was a gay disaster

Extra™: Apparently, he has a girlfriend 

Kuro: What? Eeeeh, for sure I thought he’d get together with your setter, after they were snogging and all.

Suga-mom: EXCUSE ME WHAT 

Tanaka-bro: THEY DID WHAT 

KinoShitAh: i come just in time HINATA AND KAGEYAMA DID WHAT 

Kuro: lol you’re all a mess. Yes, Hinata apparently wanted to know what it’s like to kiss a guy. He actually asked Kenma to teach him but Kenma wouldn’t because 1. Too far to travel 2. He wasn’t interested in kissing Shrimpy

Tanka-bro: is Kenma how you know about this???

Kuro: yes

Diachi: I am beginning to feel like another disaster is approaching. @BossShita you may need to intervene 

Extra™: On one hand, I can’t even think about this. On the other hand, this is going to be really, really funny.

Daichi: Tsukishima, don’t be mean!

Kuro: Tsukki, mean? He’d never…

Extra™: I appreciate the sarcasm 

Yamaguchi: why is he calling you Tsukki?

Suga-mom: lol Kuroo adds another jealous boyfriend to his tally 

Daichi: not amused 

Yamaguchi: same

Extra™: I’ll give you money to make him stop to be honest 

Kuro: OHOHOHOOO are you annoyed by me, Tsukki?

Yamaguchi: Hey, Daichi-san, where did Kuroo-san live again? 

Suga-mom: lol

Daichi: I’ll message you on private

Kuro: Hey now, don’t be like that

KinoShitAh: Rip Kuroo-san

Suga-mom: rip

Extra™: RIP

Kuro: Fuck you all I can defend myself from a scruffy highschooler

Extra™: Yea, right, Yamaguchi is vicious, he fights to win. Good luck with that. 

Kuro: @Daichi don’t give him my address. Have mercy. I’ll put in a good word with Oikawa I promise. 

Daichi: One condition. 

Kuro: Fine. What?

Daichi: You tell us why it didn’t work out with Yaku? 

Kuro: You fucker

Suga-mom: lol 

Kuro: This is why you have trouble with Oikawa, you hit low.

Kuro: But you know what, fine. Since none of you were dicks about the demisexual thing…

KinoShitAh: We would never.

Suga-mom: idk if i should be offended or sad for you, Kuroo 

Kuro: Neither, shut up. I’m trying to prevent a teenager from murdering me.

Daichi: Start typing

Kuro: Fine, fine. 

Kuro: I confessed to Yaku during the break between our second and third year. Kenma encouraged that stupidity probably because I was pining too much and it annoyed him. Anyway, Yaku rejected me, for one because he didn’t want to be in a homosexual relationship in highschool, because he was afraid of backlash, and for another, because he thought we had imbalance since I was his Captain. 

Kuro: He’s fair like that, Yaku. It was hard to hate on him when he rejected me. Plus all that is backfiring on him now when HE has a crush, and that crush likes him back but also doesn’t give two shits about rules or imbalance, he just does whatever he feels like.

Extra™: I have a sneaking suspicion that would be Lev. 

Suga-mom: i have a sneaking suspicion you are correct, which is hilarious

Kuro: Not so hilarious for Yaku, when Lev keeps trying to jump him but somehow Yaku has to ward him off because he is 2 years older than the dumb careless UNDERAGED kid. 

Daichi: I am so proud of Yaku, he is a refreshing exception in a world where often young impressionable kids get taken advantage of. 

Yamaguchi: does that mean I don’t get to kick ass?

Extra™: Vicious, Tadashi. Vicious.

Yamaguchi: You like it.

Extra™: Maybe. 

Kuro: Aaaaw how cute

KinoShitAh: omg go flirt someplace else

Kuro: i have said NOTHING 

KinoShitAh: Not you, Kuroo-san, I mean th love birds who need a ROOM

Kuro: ah ok lol

Yamaguchi: ok then bye

Kuro: That was easy?

KinoShitAh: knowing them, they were probably already in the same room

*

mah_exclusive_boo: with this new information from nekoma, i am now certain volleyball IS an LGBTQ sport after all

*

Shou-chan: KUROO SAN WHY WOULD YOU TELL EVERYBODY ABOUT THIS 

Kuro: sorry? I truly didn’t know it was a secret. 

Shou-chan: omg omg Kageyama will MURDER MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HEWP 

Kageyama: shut up

Shou-chan: omg

Kageyama: nne of us are ever talking again about this.

Shou-chan: okokokokok

Kuro: Karasuno is hilarious i like it here

* 

BossShita: Hey, team announcement.

BooShita: If any of you tease Kageyama, I will kill you. That’s all.

Kuro: wow scary are you the new Captain? 

BossShita: yes. And you are included in this.

Kuro: I am not from Karasuno.

BossShita: I don’t care I will find you. 

Kuro: Damn. It’s not even just Tsukki, your entire team needs to be called Extra™. ლ（ӨᆸӨ）۳ ლ（ӨᆸӨ）۳ ლ（ӨᆸӨ）۳

*

Kuro: they didn’t even know about the snogging, kitten, can you imagine this?

Kenken: We needed to be involved.

Kuro: but we may have a problem. shrimpy has a gf

Kenken: Yes I know. She confessed and he accepted bc he didn’t want to be rude, then he figured he kinda liked her so why not? I think he may have a bigger crush on Yachi than he does on Ha-Yun. 

Kuro: how in the hell do u type more in chat than u have said in ur entire damn life wtf?

Kenken: How do you type like a moron when you claim to be intelligent? 

Kuro: Claim to? CLAIM TO I AM A GENIUS BITCH 

Kenken: call me bitch again bitch

Kenken: brb playing

Kuro: we need to figure this out kitten what do we do with the gf

Kuro: oh no don’t u ghost on me ur not disappearing for the night like that not in a crisis

Kuro: kitten

Kuro: Kenma u shit come back

Kuro: KENMAAAAAAAA

Kuro: i hate u 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo is trying really hard to cmplete his mission but gets distracted because, well, Iwaizumi and Oikawa can't help themselves. Oh, and some Karasuno third years get in trouble with their Captain ;)
> 
> [BossShita: YOU LITTLE PIECES OF SHIT @Noya-pan @Narita HOW DARE YOU TEXT DURING PRACTICE I WILL HAVE YOU RUNNING LAPS UNTIL YOUR LIMBS FALL OFF YA DONGS  
> Noya-pan has left the chat  
> Narita: lol coward  
> BossShita: I swear…  
> Narita: nvm  
> Narita has left the chat]


	9. One Wrong Move And We’re Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (To make up for 1. being late to update and 2. messing up the chapters, here is an extra for you ^_^ I hope I can be forgiven? Oh, and if you want to be fully caught up, go back to chapter 7! It has the correct content now *oops*)
> 
> More on Hinata's mystery girlfriend. Also, Kuroo has a problem only the meddling powers of Karasuno can fix. His problem: *Kuroo sighs deeply* Oikawa Tooru is a gay mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes on qualifying event: i don't know how the college volleyball system works in japan. this is just to fit the story. *oops*

Kuro: So wait @Shou-chan have you had many crushes on girls? Or on anybody? I seriously thought you breathed volleyball the way your setter does.

Noya-pan: lol

Narita: LOL

*

Shou-chan: sry we were at practice

Shou-chan: girls are gentle and jind and some of them are calm like Ha-Yun and i like that. I mean boys can be calm too i guess like Kenma or better like Asahi-san like calm intense but you know some girls can be really chill and I like the way Ha-Yun is

Daichi: seriously, a partner who makes Hinata calm is an eight wonder of the world, i approve of this

BossShita: YOU LITTLE PIECES OF SHIT @Noya-pan @Narita HOW DARE YOU TEXT DURING PRACTICE I WILL HAVE YOU RUNNING LAPS UNTIL YOUR LIMBS FALL OFF YA DONGS 

**Noya-pan has left the chat**

Narita: lol coward

BossShita: I swear…

Narita: nvm

**Narita has left the chat**

KinoShitAh: BWAHAHA wow this was beautiful

BossShita: That’s it, I’m hunting them down

Suga-mom: rip

Yamaguchi: rip

Extra™: R.I.P.

KinoShitAh: rip. can’t believe we only have three third-years on the team now. what a tragedy we lost Kazuhito and Yuu so young 

Kuro: yall are wild, Karasuno

**Noya-pan has joined the chat**

**Noya-pan has changed his name to Hack_Pack**

Hack_Pack: Hinata Shouyou, you lying liar who fucking lies. I am coming back here with a risk for my life

BossShita: NISHINOYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 

Hack_Pack: and lemme tell you how dare you claim to have a girlfriend when you don’t. I have gone through the registry of all the schools in the area, i have gone beyond the call of duty to find this girl who brings you serenity and peace BUT NO SUCH CHICK EXISTS YOU CHEAT !!!

mah_exclusive_boo: too far, Yuu, too far

BossShita: first of all:  
Yuu

Suga-mom: yuu

Kuro: Yuu ಠ‿↼

KinoShitAh: YUU

KinoShitAh: I am still excited they were roommates

BossShita: second of all, I am fucking watching you, Yuu

mah_exclusive_boo: but we are not roommates?

Daichi: if any of you show him slash FF i will come back specifically to tan your hides

Suga-mom: *cough-cough*

Extra™: Yes, Daichi-san, how do you know about slash FF? 

Daichi: shut up both of you

Narita: lol busted

Narita: i mean…

Daichi: I swear I will come back to kick your butt, Narita!

Shou-chan: Noya-senpai?? Why are you yelling at me? I didn’t lie i swear pls don’t be mad 

Hack_Pack: liar liar pants on fire

Shou-chan: you just don’t have the name she is registered with

KinoShitAh: oh yea suuuuuuure your girlfriend from korea whose name we can’t find in any register riiiiiight

Shou-chan: i swear it’s true

Hack_Pack: ok, what’s her name int he register?

Shou-chan: can’t tell you im soryyyyyyyyyyyy (＠´＿｀＠)

Hack_Pack: ok ok listen Shouyou

Hack_Pack: if you’re embarassed or maybe you saw all of us pairing up or you felt pressure to hook up with kageyama or something, so you made up a girlfriend to fit in, i wanna tell you that’s not necessary. You are a cool little giant fellow who went to NATIONALS and we KICKED ASS and got a medal for it so i swear you dont have to have a partner to fit in. i am sorry if my coolness, added to my loving wonderful perfect relation ship to Asahi, has pressured you into pretending but know you dont have to try bc you are your own man and we like you as you are. 

Hack_Pack: K?

Narita: that… was so incredibly Yuu I am crying

BossShita: how in the hell do you manage to be both supportive and bragging? #awed

Hinata: Noya-senpaaaaaai pls believe me i sewar i have a gf i just cant tell u her name s al

Hack_Pack: ok ok we’re good

Suga-mom: Hinata, why can’t you tell us her name

Hack_Pack: why are the rest of you on my case wtf

BossShita: it’s my full-time job bitch

Narita: lol

Hack_Pack: oh yea

Shou-chan: but i told you her name. Suga-san, thi is just--another name. I can’t deadname her just to provve a point can i

Suga-mom: oh

Hack_Pack: oh

KinoShitAh: oh

Narita: oh

Daichi: dumbasses, the lot of you

Kageyama: us: come out

cishets: OH

Narita: valid point :/ sry

Hack_Pack: DID YOU JUST CALL ME HETEROSEXUAL 

Suga-mom: DID KAGEYAMA JUST MAKE A POINT NOT RELATED TO VOLLEYBALL 

BossShita: the little ones are growing <3 well done kageyama-kun

Kageyama: um… thanks? 

Hack_Pack: im still offended

BossShita: ur still cis sit yo ass down ho 

Hack_Pack: ...ive been nothing but nice

Hack_Pack: NAD IT WAS KAGEYAMA WHO SAID IT SO IT DOESN’T COUNT 

mah_exclusive_boo: um Yuu? about being nice--

Hack_Pack: hush babe

Narita: babe

BossShita: babe

Suga-mom: babe

Kuro: Karasuno, wow. i cant with yall. also, 

Kuro: “babe” 

BossShita: hey @Shou-chan well done for not cracking and respecting your girlfriend’s identity despite this team’s tendency to interrogate everyone about their private lives. U r pure and valid

*

Shou-chan: aaaaah thanKS senpai!

*

Kuro: Karasuno, for the first time in my life i have an issue i cannot resolve myself or ask my friends for help so buckle up. You are all expert meddlers so i expect nothing but quality work ok? This one is important. 

KinoShitAh: i would be offended but it’s not like he’s wrong

Hack_Pack: also incredibly full of himself. I’m not happy with this

Tanaka-bro: yh too many cool people in this chat upsets the balance. Yuu and i must be the only cool ones here.

Kuro: ok i copied everything ive written to delete and first say: thanks Roudy-kun ;) 8)

BossShita: you were never the cool ones, don’t worry

Tanaka-bro: CHIKARAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Kuro: Yesterday we played an event to qualify directly for the Intercollege Championship and we fucking lost. It was downright absolutely dumbfoundingly devastating, the entire team is an indescribable wreck. Anyway, Tokai played Nipport Sport Science, which meant the faithed Oikawa vs Iwaizumi showdown. I am telling you right the fuck now, it was epic. I felt so egged on by it because Oikawa was FUCKING SAVAGE: he did every trick in the book and he’d mess around so much, he probably managed at least 5-6 setter dump points in 3 sets all by himself, not to mention the 3 service no-touch aces. Bitch was on fire we all LOVED IT. but DAMn it was Nippon, man, they are so tough to play and Iwaizumi was like the ONLY first year there, they were all seasoned players groomed as champions and olympic medalists and shit and we were fucking slaugh-ter-ed.  
But like ok this wasn’t even the point, pay attention. So by the end of the 3rd set, we’re like fighting our best fight but we’re only ever struggling a point at a time out of them and it’s all desperation and craziness and Oikawa has been an absolute SHIT to Iwaizumi. I mean, the taunts man… just… the taunts. But they’re always like that so i’m not even bothered but then Oikawa does his final FUCKING SAVAGE SETTER DUMP RIGHT IN IWAIZUMI’S ZONE right when Nippon had a decent lead and Iwaizumi fucking loses his shit bc of course Oikawa was also like “haHAAAA, were you staring at how beautiful my technique is, were you distracted by my perfect form Iwa-chaaaan” or whatever, so Iwaizumi fucking grabs him under the net, drags him to Nippon’s side of the court and KISSES HIM RIGHT FUCKING THERE. 

Dead. Fucking. Silent. The entire court was like a burial ground i am not even kidding we all froze but then shit went down and whistles were blown and Iwaizumi got Nippon a penalty point (which made Oikawa so damn smug, i don’t even think it was the kiss tbh) but they still won the next rally which got them to set point. then AURGH we lost

HOWEVER Iwaizumi calls me today, saying Oikawa hasn’t been picking his phone or answering his messages since the game. He’s ghosted Iwaizumi and he is ghosting me too, including not answering his fucking door when i knock. I even tried to have Daichi go check on him but he is refusing to respond to either of us. We know he’s in his room though cause he’s moving around, he’s just being a little shit. 

So Iwaizumi thinks Oikawa is mad at him for outing them, for kissing him, and for ruining Oikawa’s star career. He’s all fretty and nervous, which is UNBECOMING of Iwaizumi and I am bothered, confused, in awe that it could actually happen. 

Now put your meddling superpowers to work and fix this because my head is spinning. I did not sign up to be Oikawa’s babysitter but here i am, doing that, bc apparently Iwaizumi thinks I am reasonable enough not to be dragged along with Oikawa’s bullshit. Which is completely true, but not the point

This mess is out of my league, way way out.

Kuro: Questions?

Hack_Pack: WOAH A WALL OF TEXT wait i need some minutes here

Narita: ok this is a lot. Idk what to say actually. if you already tried to contact him any way possible… all i can say is, wait him out. maybe there is another explanation

Hack_Pack: wow surprisingly matuuuure Kazuhito

BossShita: as opposed to you? :D

BossShita: ANYWHO 

BossShita: Tbh i agree with Kazuhito. Just let him sulk it out, maybe he needs a minute. Nobody likes being outed, you know. Right now Oikawa’s choice is to either deny his relationship with Iwaizumi OR confirm it. He’s been cornered and I think we can all agree, in the queer world, that’s pretty damn scary. So give him some damn breathing room.

Hack_Pack: nuh-uh i don’t think so

Hack_Pack: if the Grand King loves that Ace fo his, he’d do anything to be with him and wouldn’t care about some stupid career

Narita: You’d give volleyball up for Asahi-san?

Hack_Pack: in a blink although it would FUCKING HURT i wouldn’t know what to do with myself and i’d probably need time to come to terms with it

Hack_Pack: oh

Hack_Pack: ok i get him now

BossShita: there you go

Kuro: these are… not that helpful. I have to do something or Iwaizumi will continue fretting 

Kageyama: give me Oikawa-san’s number

Kageyama: now

Hack_Pack: oh shit

Shou-chan: OMG I JUST READ ALL OF THAT I AM LOSING MY MIN DIMAGINE THAT HAPPENING TO ME I WOULD NOT HANDLE IT WEL O BOU WTF QUEER PANIIIIIC 

BossShita: Kageyama, are you sure you want to be meddling? We just agreed that waiting is probably best.

Kageyama: Ennoshita-san…

Kageyama: You can be mad at me later but I cannot let this stand. Iwaizumi-san defended me when I needed it, letting me know even if I was an outsider to the team, there are still some of my senpai who’d be there when I need them. He’s always been really considerate to me. He doesn’t deserve this so I will not allow it.

Kageyama: excuse my boldness, Captain. I have to do this.

Kuro: yh i already gave him the number, sorry. I was too stunned he’s passionate about something which isn’t volleyball. Also desperate for this to end.

BossShita: damn you Kageyama for being so polite when going against the best course of action in this complex situation

Kageyama: (シ_ _)シ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa is back! Kageyama has no chill!  
> This will be the one and ONLY chapter which will not be in chat form but it's worth it. Some things just can't be said over text.  
> Oh, and Oikawa loves Iwaizumi, did you know that? <33
> 
> [Oikawa hadn’t even checked his phone in fear of having to communicate with them, or worse -- Iwaizumi. He was being a horrible boyfriend for it, for sure, but he’d have been an even worse one if he’d actually called his childhood best friend/lover. Right now, all Oikawa wanted was to be bitter and angry and self-deprecating, until the abyss turned shallow, more like a mass grave than a black hole. That’s how he felt on his best days, when his goals were just out of reach: yet another skill painstakingly trained, another talented teammate used just right, just another dominating victory.]


	10. Student Tries To Be Teacher; Teacher Says Fuck You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa Tooru is tired of losing. He remembers each time clearly, even the smaller defeats which others would have let go. After this last defeat, the last thing he wants to hear is the voice of the student he lost his starter setter spot to back in the day.
> 
> Kageyama calls Oikawa, Iwaizumi is worried, they are all gay. That's about it.
> 
> [link to picture’s original and its artist if you click the clink]

The room was about as black as the void in Oikawa’s heart. 

Staring at the sealing was doing nothing to fill it, or to dull the ache in his chest. He had not been able to move ever since he got up to grab a snack from the cupboard. It was for the best anyway – if any other well-wishers were camping outside his door, he needed to keep them thinking he was not inside, or perhaps asleep. 

Annoying Rooster-chan had knocked his knuckles off on Oikawa’s door but this wasn’t the time to deal with that smug loudmouth. Last thing Oikawa needed was a reminder of his embarrassing loss against Nippon Sport; he’d rather steer clear of any teammates for the next–century? 

Yeah, century sounded fine. 

Oikawa hadn’t even checked his phone in fear of having to communicate with them, or worse – Iwaizumi. He was being a horrible boyfriend for it, for sure, but he’d have been an even worse one if he’d actually called his childhood-best-friend-slash-lover. Right now, all Oikawa wanted was to be bitter and angry and self-deprecating, until the abyss turned shallow, more like a mass grave than a black hole. That’s how he felt on his best days, when his goals were just out of reach: yet another skill painstakingly trained, another talented teammate used just right, just another dominating victory. 

But there were no dominating victories behind him, no wins to celebrate: just losses, his goals once more pushed further away just as he was touching them with fingertips. Nippon could have slaughtered their way through the Preliminaries later this year; Oikawa’s team had needed the event win for the prefecture so they wouldn’t have to fight so hard before the Championships actually began. So they wouldn’t have so many opportunities to lose. If Oikawa called Iwaizumi right now, he’d be bitter and resentful and absolutely not capable of congratulating his wonderfully talented former teammate (his best friend, his pillar, his loved one, his boyfriend, his heart) on the stunning victory he’d helped win for his University. 

So instead, he was cooped up in his room, curtains drawn, bed covers in a tangle all around him, stinking of defeat and night-terror sweat. He’d missed his evening ritual entirely – three out of four nights, his anxiety dreams stayed away if he stuck to it.

 _Screw this_ , Oikawa decided. He was being ridiculous. At the very least, if he could not talk to Iwa-chan, he should _text_ him. Being a terrible boyfriend did not suit him - he was Oikawa Tooru and he was better than this. After all, he prided himself in excelling as a partner, as he did in all things. His current state was very decidedly unglamorous and he could not have that.

Oikawa was just picking up his phone to unmute it when an incoming call popped on his screen. Unknown number. He stared at it, wondering if he should risk it, knowing how crafty– _annoying, frustrating, assholish_ –Rooster-chan was when it came to getting what he wanted. 

Well if it was him, he was about to get an earful. Oikawa picked up.

“Oikawa Tooru,” he said in his most drippingly sweet voice, a whisper of an evil smirk forming at the edges of his mouth.

The person who answered him was entirely too surprising albeit painfully familiar. Plus, about a hundred times less welcome at a time like this than Kuroo Tetsurou’s. 

“Oikawa-san,” Kageyama said in a hurried tone. “I realise this is a bad time. Or that perhaps you don’t want to listen to me. Last time we spoke I had to bow for you to spare me a minute. But don’t hang up on me because this is about Iwaizumi-san and I know you care about him so you have to listen.” 

“You–” Oikawa hissed. His teeth made an annoying scratching sound when he tried to clench them and grind them at the same time. He ran his tongue on them to try to soothe the sensation. “I want to strangle you right now. Did you think you’d call to hear how I sound after my defeat, mm? Because I’d have to disappoint you, Tobio-chan: I’m doing fabulous! My life cannot be better, my skin cannot be clearer, my crops–” 

“Kuroo-san said you’ve been cooped up in your room, refusing to speak to anybody.” 

“Damn that Rooster asswipe,” Oikawa hissed. He immediately chased after his honey-sweet voice, trying to salvage his pride. “Nevermind that. It doesn’t concern you. We’re still coming out victorious for the Championships. Losses can make us stronger.”

“I’m not interested in your University’s ranking Oikawa-san. Please hear me out.” 

“Eh?”

There was a deep sigh on the other end of the line. Oikawa frowned sideways to his phone. What was Kageyama even playing at? Was he meaning to say he no longer saw Oikawa as competition? Has that one win over Aoba Johsai last year given him some sort of closure? Sense of security? Because Oikawa would be happy to crush that in little pieces once little Tobio-chan ended up in a rival University, all hopes and innocent first-year dreams laid in his senpai’s merciless hands.

“I realise this is odd coming from me, because my focus is so often on volleyball. Perhaps you did not know that, but it was a way for me to focus on something else than my queerness, than what I felt others would always see as my most vital identity. Being a talented volleyball player means a lot more than I can explain to most people so my focus is perhaps too intense sometimes. I understand this. I understand we might share that focus, Oikawa-san, albeit for different reasons, that we might be similar in our passion for the game. For winning.

“So I’m sorry if it doesn’t seem sincere to say so, but I think that you are making a mistake pushing Iwaizumi-san away because of what happened during the tournament. Apart from volleyball, we also have being queer in common, so I won’t pretend I don’t understad how terrifying it is to be outed, especially on a public stage. I get that. But if you are considering leaving Iwaizumi-san to chase a volleyball career–” 

Oikawa gaped. He hadn’t understood half of Kageyama’s speech but the proposition he could ever leave Iwa-chan – outrageous! 

“Tobio-chan, what are you even–?”

“I WILL BE TELLING YOU THAT YOU ARE MAKING A MISTAKE CHOOSING SOME DREAM OR GOAL OR ACHIEVEMENT OVER IWAIZUMI-SAN BECAUSE NONE OF IT WOULD BE WORTH IT WITHOUT HIM NEXT TO YOU TO SHARE IT!” Kageyama bellowed. Though his next words came as a whisper, as if he was begging not demanding anymore, “Don’t hurt him like that, Oikawa-san. Or yourself. That’s too cruel even for you.”

If he’d ever been stunned into silence before, Oikawa couldn’t remember it. He would later conveniently delete this occurrence from his memory too. No way was he admitting Kageyama forced him into wordlessness.

Luckily for him, he could gather himself pretty quickly. “Tobio-chaaaaaan, are you actually concerned about me? That’s so sweeeeeet.” 

“Oikawa-san.”

“Don’t deny it now, it’s all out in the open. All this rivalry pretence cannot hide how much you actually admire and appreciate me after all. So touching you’re worried.”

“I was actually worried about Iwaizumi-san.”

“Tch, don’t hide it, you love me, I’m your favourite senpai.”

“That’s actually Suga-san–”

“No, no, you care about me.”

“I care that Iwaizumi-san is worried and sad.”

That finally gave Oikawa a pause. “What are you babbling about, Tobio-chan? He’s great, given he just won a qualifying event.”

“Iwaizumi-san is sick with worry because you wouldn’t respond to him. He believes you hate him because he practically outed your relationship during the match.”

“Who told you this?”

“Kuroo-san.”

“That Rooster asshole!” Oikawa hissed. “Wait, did Iwaizumi call him? Was that why that annoying piece of shit was at my door earlier?”

“Yes.”

“Fuck. Me. Sideways.”

“Sounds extravagant. Perhaps you should call Iwaizumi-san with it.”

“DON’T YOU SASS ME RIGHT NOW THIS IS A CRISIS WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SOMETHING RIGHT AWAY.”

Kageyama hummed. “I did, that’s all I talked about the entire time.”

“YOU PISS ME OOOOOFF!”

Oikawa was getting lost in a panic attack worse than after his knee injury. During that horrifying part of his life, at least he’d had Iwaizumi with him. For the life of him, Oikawa had not considered this consequence of the events of the match. That Iwa-chan–his Iwa-chan, would ever think any aspect of them was conditional upon Oikawa’s victory or success, that he was discardable for a volleyball career…

Kageyama might be an annoying fool but at least he’d been right about one thing: none of it meant anything without Iwaizumi by Oikawa’s side.

“I don’t care. I just care that Iwaizumi-san is okay.”

“What do you even know about Iwa-chan?” Oikawa hissed in an attempt to dispel some of the anxiety threatening to steal his breath.

“He’s a good person. He probably needs a better best friend but you’re it, Oikawa-san, so I have no choice but to call you.”

“Go away and take your judgement with you, little Tobio-chan. You know nothing about either of us!”

“Will you call him?”

“OF COURSE I WILL NOW GO AWAY TOBIO-CHAN!”

Oikawa dearly wished he had an old style phone so he could slam it. Instead he settled for angrily stabbing at the red button repeatedly until even the message the call has ended had disappeared from the screen.

So–Iwa-chan was hurting. Oikawa had to do something about that quickly.

*

Oikawa_T: Iwa-chan… I’m so sorry I made you worry. Can you forgive me?

[ **Oikawa_T sent a picture** ](https://scontent-lga3-1.cdninstagram.com/v/t51.2885-15/e35/74954866_233762507607435_6258724259769696777_n.jpg?_nc_ht=scontent-lga3-1.cdninstagram.com&_nc_cat=103&oh=8a9035d6e8ad624a0c405af8f4a0e2c7&oe=5E76150B)

[ ](https://scontent-lga3-1.cdninstagram.com/v/t51.2885-15/e35/74954866_233762507607435_6258724259769696777_n.jpg?_nc_ht=scontent-lga3-1.cdninstagram.com&_nc_cat=103&oh=8a9035d6e8ad624a0c405af8f4a0e2c7&oe=5E76150B)

Oikawa_T: here’s a picture of my beautiful face to soften you up

Iwaizumi: OIKAWA TOORU I CAN SEE THE DARK CIRCLES EVEN UNDER THAT MAKEUP 

Oikawa_T: oh shit full name

Iwaizumi: Tooru–why didn’t you call back?

Oikawa_T: listen, Hajime. I know what you thought. Of all people, TOBIO-CHAN CALLED ME. He yelled at me. YELLED!!!!!! ლ(ಠ_ಠლ) I am so upset rn i can’t even

Iwaizumi: just pick up when i call

Iwaizumi: why are you not picking up now?! 

Oikawa_T: i want you to have this written so you’d come back to it when you’re ever in doubt. Because this is a constant which would never change but i might sometimes get carried away. I’ve been reminded my obsession with volleybal can reach unhealthy levels. So screenshot this i want it saved to your phone idk make it your backgrount if you must. 

Iwazumi: what’s gotten into your head now? Must you make me worry so much just pick up the phone for fuck’s sakes, Tooru!

Oikawa_T: Listen. I love you. I love you so much that my heart is threatening to burst every time I think about it. I’ve loved you for so long, so dearly, that I don’t know a way of being without loving you. Every aspect of my life, every stage of reaching for my dreams, fighting for my success, comes with you in my life, with you there to share my victories and console me during my rare minuscule insegnificant failures. By no regard will I ever be embarrassed of you, our relationship, or my bisexuality.

Iwaizumi: …

Iwaizumi: How can you say things like that I am not saving this to my phone not on my life

Iwaizumi: I just–thought you hated me for kissing you. I really didn’t mean to, you were just pissing me off as usual and I didn’t know how else to shut you the fuck up.

Iwaizumi: You really aren’t upset with me? Not even a little? I did out us...

Oikawa_T: If the world of volleyball can’t handle how beautiful or important my Iwa-chan is, the world of volleyball can eat my entire queer ass.

Oikawa_T: but i was upset with you, just for beating our team not for kissing me on the court. you can kiss me all you want. especialy if it gets you penalty points lol. anyway i’m showing you no mercy when we meet during Championships. im taking your sexy ass down, Iwa-chan

Iwaizumi: shut up shittykawa!

Oikawa_T: oooh are you blushing? im calling you now, i wanna hear the blush in your voice

Iwaziumi: Im not picking up

Oikawa_T: (ʃƪ˘ﻬ˘)(ʃƪ˘ﻬ˘)(ʃƪ˘ﻬ˘)(ʃƪ˘ﻬ˘)(ʃƪ˘ﻬ˘)

*

Oikawa_T: hey tobio-chaaaaaaaaaaaaan

Kageyama: Kuroo-san already said you bacl and also called Iwaizumi-san

Oikawa_T: shut up you ungrateful shit that’s not why im here

Kageyama: …

Oikawa_T: i hate being indebted to you and you actually helped me so i just wanted to make sure you knew something so yo wouldn’t be taking it to heart

Kageyama: i was helping Iwaizumi-san a nyway

Oikawa-T: SHUT IT

Oikawa_T: im blocking your number later anyway, just let me get throug this conversation 

Oikawa_T: So. I wanted to make sure you know although I truly hate you, it has nothing to do with any aspects of your queerness. I notcied you sounded sort of depressed when you mentioned it, kinda like when I defeated you during Summer Interhigh but like even less subtle. So I wanted you to know none of my emotions for you have anything to do with any part of your identity. 

Kageyama: Wow. Well

Kageyama: I alredy knew that. Matsumoto Naoki was at our lst game he told me how you dated him to stop peole from beign terrible to him so i assumed then you had no special opinion on my IDentity

Oikawa_T: ah ok then

Oikawa_T: hey tobio-chan?

Kageyama: yes?

Oikawa_T: YOU SUCK s( ^ ‸ ^)-p

**Oikawa_T has blocked Kageyama**

Kageyama: so do you 凸(｀0´)凸

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo tries to breach Karasuno's deference to finally execute his (not so) clever plan to get Hinata and Kageyama together. Instead, he has to deal with his own complicated emotions.
> 
> [BossShita: let’s not get into who has a crush on whom, Kuroo-san, or we’d have to talk about you as well  
> KinoShitAh: get him, Captain  
> Kuro: i don’t have a single crush  
> BossShita: aham  
> Extra™: Bokuto-san  
> KinoShitAh: Kenma  
> Suga-mom: Akaashi-kun  
> Kuro: none of those are correct, nice try but i don’t have a crush  
> KinoShitAh: all of those were true  
> Extra™: I am forced to admit that is likely true.  
> Kuro: Which part of demisexual do you not understand?  
> BossShita: I’d have to double check but do correct me if I am wrong: demisexuality has nothing to do with a crush itself, just with sexual attraction, correct?  
> Kuro: fuck off this was not about me  
> BossShita: then leave Kageyama alone  
> Kuro: Savage, Captain-kun. You are savage.]


	11. The Queer Whisperer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo faces an unexpected problem, namely: Karasuno always — always — manages to get under your skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all owe this chapter to chicalatina whose binge-reading and consequent commenting gave me and my muse life. Bless you, dear *_^

Kuro: Karasuno, you’re magic. Oikawa is like a lantern rn, all genuinely happy and concerningly positive-looking. I’m terrified for any team we face, he might sabotage their uniforms or wire their side of the court or something. 

Hack_Pack: wow

Narita: sounds plausible

BossShita: @Kageyama was that you? What did you say to him?

Kageyama: nothing that wasn’t true

Kuro: did you find out what was with him?

Kageyama: i feel like i should have predicted this. he was devastaded with the outcome of the game.

Kuro: Did he say the word “devastated”?

Kageyama: no. i guessed.

BossShita: Yh, he’s your senpai alright. Well whatever you said, it seems to have worked, so well done

Kageyama: I don’t know how many times I must remind people I did this for Iwaizumi-san, not Oikawa-san.

Kuro: tell yourself whatever you want, darling, but you had a big gay crush on that senpai of yours and you have a soft spot for him

Kageyama: Kuroo-san… I am so sorry… HOW DARE YOU SAY SOMETHING LIEK THIS

Kuro: lol i speak truth 

KinoShitAh: even im staying far away from this one lol but still =>> [me @ you](https://i.imgur.com/3USgt2g.gif)

BossShita: let’s not get into who has a crush on whom, Kuroo-san, or we’d have to talk about you as well

KinoShitAh: get him, Captain

Kuro: i don’t have a single crush

BossShita: aham

Extra™: Bokuto-san

KinoShitAh: Kenma

Suga-mom: Akaashi-kun

Kuro: none of those are correct, nice try but i don’t have a crush

KinoShitAh: all of those were true

Extra™: I am forced to admit that is likely true.

Kuro: Which part of demisexual do you not understand?

BossShita: I’d have to double check but do correct me if I am wrong: demisexuality has nothing to do with a crush itself, just with sexual attraction, correct?

Kuro: fuck off this was not about me

BossShita: then leave Kageyama alone

Kuro: Savage, Captain-kun. You are savage.

BossShita: thanks (*^▽^*)

Suga-mom: so proud, Chikara 

BossShita: thanks, mom

Suga-mom: (づ￣ ³￣)づ

BossShita: ⊂(´･◡･⊂ )∘˚˳°

*

Kuro: fuck it kenma i cant get around their defences they have kageyama wrapped in a thousand blankets and protected by a fort with crocodiles swimming around it. 

Kenken: loser

Kuro: KENMA

Kenken: do the thing, Kuro

Kuro: but howwwwwwwwwwwwwww they keep making ti about me

Kenken: then let them. get under their skin. become one of them. 

Kuro: aurghhhhh finnnnne but you owe me three now

Kenken: …

Kuro: THREE KENMA NO LESS 

Kenken: mm

Kuro: this is a binding contract or else you little shit

Kenken: MMMM

Kuro: aurghhhhhhh

* 

Kuro: I do NOT have a crush on Bokuto. Or Akaashi. Or Kenma. You assholes.

KinoShitAh: been thinking bout this awhile eh?

Kuro: ┌∩┐(ಠ_ಠ)┌∩┐

*

mah_exclusive_boo: hey, @Kuro if this is really bothering you, they will stop by the way

Kuro: nah. it just isnt true

KinoShitAh: we are all pretty sure it’s true

Suga-mom: yh you’re in loooooove

Kuro: no. i have strictly platonic feelings about my three very good, very close friends.

BossShita: ok ok serious talk time. If i may of course?

Kuro: Wut?

BossShita: So, do you feel quite similarly about all three of them? That is, about Bokuto-san, Akaashi, and Kenma?

Kuro: Yes and no? They are all my friends but in a different way. I mean, they are different people so of course we don’t have the same relationship. It’s the same good warm feeling to think of them spending time with me though, I suppose.

KinoShitAh: I am not an expert but this is gay

Tanaka-bro: hey i get a warm happy feeling thinking about spending time with Yuu and i am not gay

BossShita: Exactly. Which is why I said this is serious. 

Tanaka-bro: nice nice clevr Chickara get him thinking about his own relationships so he cant bother kageyama anymooooore

BossShita: not the point this time around but ok

Kuro: I am rolling my eyes rn

mah_exclusive_boo: like idk when i was trying to figure out what’s going on, it helped to think about the romantic aspect of it not the sexual, because that part is all jumbled or could get meshed together because who even knows the difference between sexuality arousal attraction and sex drive

Extra™: I do.

Narita: me

Hack_Pack: well-fucking-done to you then, ten goldstars. now shut it

mah_exclusive_boo: rude again Yuu

Hack_Pack: i just think they should lay off s all. Dont u think so babe

mah_exclusive_boo: Eehh i uuuuuuh maybe a little? Guys?

Narita: sry Asahi-san

Kuro: idk i just feel like they are super dear to me for many reasons, Kenma’s been my best friend since forever no matter what we’ve been there for each other but when i was missing him during training camp Bokuto showed up all loud and abonxious and bright as a star, then all of a sudden next year he has this setter dude trotting after him, tossing him killer balls and killer jabs, all super effortlessly clever and brutally honest it was beautiful. 

Extra™: Apologies, Azumane-san.

Extra™: Also, that’s super gay, Kuroo-san.

Hack_Pack: yeah gay

Kuro: I’m demipansexual ya shits

Kuro: why can’t these be friend things ???

BoossShita: don’t mind, Kuroo-san. Of course they can be friend things. It just made me wonder, because you always gravitate towards them so much, as if you can’t help yourself, so i suspected some level of romantic attraction but it doesn’t mean all of a sudden any of us know you better than you know yourself. I was just asking, really.

Tanaka-bro: i think these can be friend thinks 

Hack_Pack: in all seriousness, they totally can 

Hack_Pack: also, PAN solidarity, fucker-san

Kuro: hell yea fucker-kun

Hack_Pack: you kno what.. I don’t hate it

Hack_Pack has changed Kuro’s name to Fucker-pan-san

Hack_Pack has changed their name to Fucker-pan-kun

Fucker-pan-san: …

Fucker-pan-san: lol ok i can allow it i guess

Narita: better than “ rooster” 

mah_exclusive _boo: can i change my nickname already too?

Narita: you dont like being Yuu’s exclusive boo?

mah_exclusive_boo: nonono of course not. 

mah_exclusive_boo: I MEAN OF COURSE I LIKE IT I JUST WANT A NEW NAME 

mah_exclusive_boo: I MEAN OF COURSE I DON'T MIND TELLING EVERYBODY OROR LIKE ANYBODY I AM JUST EMBARRASSED BECAUSE IT’S LIKE A REALLY FLASHY CONFIDENT NAME AURGH IDK IM DYING 

mah_exclusive_boo: (╯•﹏•╰)(╯•﹏•╰)(╯•﹏•╰)(╯•﹏•╰)

Narita: … im really sorry

Narita: i think i broke Asahi-san

Fucker-pan-san: If I’d known it’s that easy, I would have used it for our match at Nationals. 3 dirty jokes and he’d have broken down

Tanaka-bro: DONT YOU DARE COME NEAR OUR ASAHI-SAN ROOSTER-SAAAAN 

BossShita: That would have been really mean but also you don’t understand half of it if you think you’d need as many as 3. 

mah_exclusive_boo changed their name to Asahi Ace

BossShita: he lives

Narita: phew

Asahi Ace: it’s ok Narita, Yuu talked to me and we’re good

Tanaka-bro: not to criticise you but you could have bee more cretive with that name, Asahi-san

Fucker-pan-san: which reminds me… Azumane, do I understand right that you’re ace-spec?

Tanaka-bro: ace-wut now? like, it’s not a robot thing it doesn’t have specs it’s a sexuality

Shou-chan: yh im confused too i thought they were like specs, like glasses

BossShita: *spectrum

Fucker-pan-san: it means spectrum （￣～￣）

Asahi Ace: yes, I am, Kuroo-san

Fucker-pan-san: forget the -san, Kuroo’s fine. Makes you sound like Akaashi 

Narita: *cough-cough*

Fucker-pan-kun: how sweet he always thinks about one of his crushes

BossShita: oh i see both of you are speaking up, as people who’ve never gushed about their crushes. Ever. or been obsessed with them. Not even a little.

Narita: *closes mouth tightly*

Fucker-pan-kun: alrighty fair

Fucker-pan-san: I feel like I’m one off your children now, Karasuno’s mom lol

Tanaka-bro: do we..??? @BossShita

BossShita: no

Tanaka-bro: ok

Fucker-pan-san: ok?? Idk what that was. Anyway, @Asahi Ace, how did you figure whom you were attracted to. I mean, romantically. If you are willing to talk about it.

Asahi Ace: I meaaan it’s kinda embarrassing NOT THAT I AM NOT PROUD OF YUU it’s just that it’s sort of weird to talk about my feelings. I’m not sure exactly, I think it helped to figure out first that 1. I don’t actually HAVE TO feel sexually attracted to somebody to love them. Like, I can fall in love the same way other people do, just without the intervention of sexual pull. And 2. I can feel things just not like necessarily want to do anything about them. So it’s kind of… i don’t know, i feel this is personal.

Asahi Ace: not as in private, although that’s also true, but i mean it’s individual 

Asahi Ace: now i want to go die under a pile of blankets thanks

BossShita: Asahi-san, sometimes… you’re too sweet to be this strong

Tanaka-bro: it’s like somebody made a mistake giving Yuu’s body to Asahi-san 

Fucker-pan-kun: I’d gladly give my body to Asahi

Tanaka-bro: lol ok good one, high five bro

Fucker-pan-kun: HIGH FIVE

Fucker-pan-kun: also, Asahi says to ask Tsukishima, aparently he knows lots about these stuff

BossShita: ah good point

BossShita: where has he been btw?

Fucker-pan-kun: i’ve let him lay low. was busy with shouyou, now it’s cancelled because our child is fine

Fucker-pan-san: Tsukki’s ace too?

BossShita: i don’t think so, or at least he hasn’t told us

Fucker-pan-san: @Extra™ 

Fucker-pan-kun: rise and shine bitch

Narita: lol

Extra™: Why am I being bullied again? 

Extra™: Also, who the hell is “Fucker-pan-san”?

Narita: you could scroll up?

Extra™: Ah, yes, of course. I, a person who pointedly avoids participating or paying attention to this chat to limit contact with its participants’ shenanigans, would subject myself to numerous pages worth of text to figure out who’s changed their name to match that of who I assume is Noya-san (e.g. “Fucker-pan-kun”).

Narita: quit being smartass in long sentences, makes my head hurt 2-fold

KinoShitAh: like that’s hard

BossShita: like that’s hard

Fucker-pan-san: It’s Kuroo. Your libero changed my name. I don’t hate it so it stayed.

Narita: BETRAYED 

Extra™: Sweet of you to believe he’d have let you change it, but alright. Kuroo-san. What do you want?

Fucker-pan-san: Azumane recommended to ask you about ace things.

Extra™: For fuck’s sake.

Extra™ has left the chat

Fucker-pan-kun: bitch like id let you

Fucker-pan-kun has added Extra™ to the chat

Extra™: ﾍ(￣ ￣;ﾍ)

Fucker-pan-san: So how do you know stuff about being ace? Are you ace-spec as well?

Extra™: *sigh* No. I’m just on Tumblr a lot, posting and promoting my boyfriend's art. You pick up stuff.

BossShita: oh yea @Yamaguchi, show us your art!

KinoShitAh: Hell yea, Yamaguchi! 

Tanaka-bro: w’ell suport you Yamaguchiiiiii. Oh if i could draw, i would be able to charm uuuuuh girls i like really much and then even if i am flistered my art would speak for me. Omg yamaguchi why would you not show us your art, you shoudl be proud of your talent u axious nerd

Fucker-pan-san: ok I do this at risk of my own sanity so buckle up, brat

Extra™: Why am I being insulted when I’m helping you? 

Yamaguchi: noooo I can’t, I’m too nervous, but you are so cool so don’t worry tanaka-san, you don’t need art, you express yourself so clearly!

Tanaka-bro: mwahahaaha riiight i am cool!

Tanaka-bro: ah youngsters you and yachi-kun can form an anxiety club 

KinoShitAh: Asahi-san can be Alumni member

Fucker-pan-san: Ok so this is what I have. Sex sounds fun but when i think of participating it’s more like hssssss stay away. I could watch I guess, that would be hot. UNLESS it’s somebody i really really really like, i’d have to get to know them, maybe spend some time alone, or quality time, or something similar – then i’d feel attraction. When i was a young brat like you, I would get horny randomly but it didn’t have a person it was directed to, i just wanted to get off so I’d want sexual interaction but i don’t remember any sexual attraction per se. That’s what my demisexuality is like. So far so good.

When it comes to Kenma, i don’t think i’ve ever felt any attraction to him. I am pretty certai.. I met Bokuto around the time my hormones were going haywire so i felt horny while he was in proximity NOT BECAUSE he was in proximity. Same with Kenma. When Akaashi joined Fukurodani, I was getting the hang of things but hadn’t quite figured out shit. It took a while to realise my horniness was not prompted by a person but simply… a libido. So we’d all hang out together and while i was curious about Akaashi who didn’t seem to MOVE no matter how much i prodded, it was an interest towards him as a PERSON not as an object of sexual desire. I am super fascinated with the minds of my friends, who are clever and unique and all smart in an incredibly individual way but I haven’t wanted to fuck them like you allo shits do. 

BECAUSE THEY ARE MY FRIENDS 

KinoShitAh: I am not an expert, but didn’t Kuroo-san just say a LOT of gay things

Fucker-pan-kun: can confirm, he was being gay

Yamaguchi: Tsukki is yelling, and I am typing this as it is coming out of his mouth: “IDIDNTWANTTOKNOWNAYOFTHIS IDIDNTWANTTOKNOWNAYOFTHIS IDIDNTWANTTOKNOWANYOFTHIS” 

BossShita: Congratulations, Kuroo-san. You just managed to short circuit Tsukishima – something not previously achieved by any mortal. 

Extra™: I choose to take this as a compliment

Extra™: I need to scrub my brain after this. After this, I am not having sex for 3 weeks.

Yamaguchi: WHAT?!?!?!? Wtf why am I being punished for this? Fuck you, Kuroo-san

Narita: i thought he just explained he wouldn’t be interested Yamaguchi lol

Fucker-pan-san: Beat me to that joke, Reserve Stable-kun

Narita: … can’t believe considered being nice to you

Extra™: Alright. Question time. If you answer dishonestly, that’s your problem, so don’t blame me for the results. Let’s get this over with. The rest of you, please refrain from comments for best results. I DO NOT WISH TO DO THIS AGAIN. 

BossShita: Everybody shut the fuck up until Tsuikishima is done.

Narita: the queer whisperer at work

BossShita: SHUTUP

Extra™: …

Extra™: Kuroo-san, when you felt horny around your friends, did you suppress it?

Fucker-pan-kun: Yea? It’s awkward, especially since I had already discovered actually being sexually active with hot people (like others would want to be) was not how I functioned. It was not fun to just want to get it on with somebody for the sake of release when I actually wasn’t attracted to them. Doing that to my friends is RUDE feeling like that around my friends is AWKWARD 

Extra™: Right. So, in the instances when, as you usually do, you were spending time with Kenma-san in his room, you would often feel aroused? 

Fucker-pan-san: in that period

Extra™: Not since?

Fucker-pan-san: Sometimes. If we cuddle. We don’t do that often.

Extra™: Physical contact is a factor?

Fucker-pan-san: It didn’t use to be. My imagination would run with things just looking at Kenma. Like he’s so funny trying to workout but when he’s tired he is so cute and it’s just endeering and sometimes I’d imagine holding him so he could rest and maybe uuuuuuuuh “lazy fucking” 

Fucker-pan-san: if any of you ever say this to any of my friends i will murder you

Extra™: I do not want to repeat any of this. I don’t want to think of any of this. If I am lucky, the trauma will work its magic and my mind will suppress the memory.

Extra™: So even though there was no physical stimulation, you have experienced the desire to be intimate with Kenma-san? 

Fucker-pan-san: Yes, on occasions.

Extra™: To this day?

Fucker-pan-san: Sometimes when I am reading a well-written relationship in a manga and they’ll kiss, my mind would start wondering what it would be like to kiss Kenma.

Fucker-pan-san: BUT THAT’S NOT UNIQUE OK! I’ve thought it about other people.

Extra™: Are any of these people Akaashi-san, Bokuto-san, and Yaku-san?

Fucker-pan-san: ……. 

Among others

Extra™: Others being?

Fucker-pan-san: Not going to answer that. But one other, although briefly.

Extra™: But generally a limited amount of people? People with whom you were emotionally close?

Fucker-pan-san: … yes. That’s not what it sounds like though.

Extra™: Alright. How did you notice you have feelings towards Yaku-san? How did you know you have a crush on him?

Fucker-pan-san: Apart from wanting to kiss him? It became fun to be around him. All of sudden, despite everything we disagreed on, there was a reason to view him as an ally, eventually even as a friend. The closer we became, the more the differences didn’t matter, and by the end of it they were reasons why we could share meals on nights out with the team, or share about a manga the other hasn’t read even if it wasn’t our particular cup of tea. Yaku also enjoys foreign literature, so he was telling me about this German author he’d read and I was just staring at him in that moment, thinking, “Wow, he is so smart. I want to cuddle-squish it out of him.” I would have if I didn’t know he’d murder me for trying.

Extra™: Side note, I enjoy Yaku-san. He must teach me his ways to use against the Shrimp

Extra™: Ever felt similar things towards Akaashi-san or the others?

Fucker-pan-san: They are all very smart. Kenma doesn’t talk much about it but he is talented and it’s cute. Akaashi is adorable when he snarks a comment your way. A person who ends an argument with one word. Wow. Impresses me every time. Bokuto! Man, Bokuto could go on about things for ages but you can;’t stop listeing. 

Yea, They Are All Clever In Their Ways And I Like It. 

But it’s because THEY ARE MY FRIENDS.

Extra™: You miss them?

Fucker-pan-san: Terribly. Bokuto and I were supposed to go to the same University, you know? The fact that I can’t hang out with him is painful, it is almost torturous. When I’m down, it’s Bokuto who has my back, so difficult times have become more of an issue. Kenma! Missing Kenma is HORRIBLE I have never been without him. Where we lived in the suburbs is just so hard ot get to without proper time to plan it out, so when there’s studies and volleyball, it is just impossible to meet unless he travels to here. WHich he HATES because trains are a living hell for him unless somebody tags along. With Akaashi, it's almost like an “I’m sorry we didn’t have more time” ache. We should have hung out more, argued more, agreed more. It’s sad because I miss him, but also miss what could have been? We are friends and we all keep in touch but man it’s difficult when there’s distance. 

Extra™: What would you do if you saw them right now? Imagine meeting them and describe it for me.

Fucker-pan-san: oh boy It’d drop to my knees to grab Kenma by the waist because I know he hates being overwhelmed but he likes cuddles, so I gotta come down to his height. I will definitely rush to buy the apple pie I found from this bakery downstairs, it has the correct crunch-to-squish ratio he enjoys. I’m also making a pillow&blanket fort he could hide in – that’s his favourite bed arrangement. Specifically for this, i brought enough pillows from my house. I think i stole my mom’s favourite one too, she may or may not kill me for this.

Bokuto I will snuggle the living hell out of. He LIFTS ME which is hilarious and at first it felt scary but now is the best feeling. I want to kiss his cheek because it’s surprisingly soft under the beard, unlike every other part of him because wtf muscles. I’ve already picked out a playground gym we can go to, he loves those things like you can’t believe. I may or may not have borrowed a book from a friend which he’d been dying to read but couldn’t get his hands on for some reason. I’ve gotten permission to keep it till the end of the semester, hopefully Bokuto can come till then.

Akaashi– i am going to give him my phone because it’s been buggy. He is some sort of wizard with those, and he gets Yaku-during-a-game quiet when he’s tinkering with them. He’d plug it in his computer and I’d just lie there next to him on my bed and stare at him work. Bokuto can read his book and Kenma can play his game and we’d have the best time. I can hug Akaashi’s shoulders when he’s fixed it in thanks and he’d smile up at me which is super rare but super cute

Extra™: … … … 

Extra™: I won’t even summarize this, you are smart enough to get it.

Extra™: Listen, I asked all these questions because your experience is not entirely unfamiliar to me. I’ve known Yamaguchi since middle school – transitioning from friendship to romantic love was awkward, unrequited, and uncomfortable. Although it was likely easier for me to realise how I felt due to my allo-sexuality, I opted for suppressing my feelings much like you did. Any sexual desire or romantic affection I had, I hid from myself and Yamaguchi for the longest time. Learning to accept it was a journey which I had to take on my own, without any input.

So this is the only advice I’ve got: any of the feelings you described COULD also be non-romantic. They could be coincidences, prompted by hormones and close friendly affection.

But I am somewhat experienced in loving your best friend. While hormones helped, they are not the reason why we love each other. Neither is allo-sexuality-fueled desire. If you want to examine whether you are in love with any or all of them, I recommend analysing your own experiences using questions and comparisons like I just showed you. I trust you are intelligent enough to have gotten the hang of it by now. 

From where I stand, the same measures I took, you have taken too: ignoring or pushing down sexual attraction, saying or wanting to do romantic things I attribute to friendship even if I feel the change in the quality of my time spent with him, and making detailed plans on how we’d spend our time together to handle the evenings we weren’t by each other’s side because of separate training or some other obstacle. 

Extra™: What I’m saying is, examine how you feel and leave me the fuck alone.

Extra™: I’m done now.

KinoShitAh: I was going to scream GAAAAAAAAAAY when he was done but now that feels rude. He was so open about his emotions I am in awe.

Yamaguchi: TSUKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII I LOVE YOU

Extra™: Please don’t be embarrassing, Tadashi.

Yamaguchi: Sorry, Tsukki

Fucker-pan-kun: The Queer Whisperer (ﾉﾟ▽ﾟ)ﾉ

Extra™: Goodbye. 

Extra™ has left the chat

Fucker-pan-kun: I’ll give him a couple of days, he’s earned it

Suga-mom: WTF HAS BEEN HAPPENING HERE 

Daichi: I didn’t know you were such a mess, Kuroo.

Fucker-pan-kun: lol mom and dad savage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Magic happens when you comment ^_^ 
> 
> Next up: turnabout’s a fair play. You decide who is more savage - Noya or Ennoshita. 
> 
> [Fucker-pan-kun added Koutarou to the chat  
> Fucker-pan-kun: I’ve taken initiative  
> Koutarou: HEY HEY WUT THIZ?  
> *  
> Queer_Panic: WTF WTF NOYA-KUN FUCK YOU IN PARTICULAR YET AGAIN  
> Koutarou: no seriously who diz? Dont make me make m friend hack yall  
> Queer_Panic: dont set akaashi on us bokuto pls, it’s just kuroo. We’re in karasuno’s team chat]


	12. Ends And Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How do allo people do crushes? They are so uncomfortable!   
> Or otherwise said, Kuroo panics, Bokuto is loud, and there is more than one savage on Karasuno's team

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This comes in early because I got some awesome news around the holidays, plus I will be SUPER busy from mid-January on and wanted to treat you all. Enjoy and don't forget those comments! ;)
> 
> (I know some of the meme-ing is more 2018/2019 than 2013/2014, I'm sorry about that but I can't rememebr what the kids used to say back then lol)

Kuro: I hate you i hate you i hate you

Kenken: looser 

Kenken: stripping you of the title of provocation expert 

Kuro: you can strip me of anything you want 8)

Kenken: ??????????!!!!!!! 

Kuro: IM SORRY THAT’S KARASUNO’S FAULT THEY BROKE MY BRAIN AURGH IM LEAVING bye

Kenken: i need a therapist after this wtf 

*

Fucker-pan-san: FUCK YALL KARASUNO 

Suga: Gay Panic: A Study

Fucker-pan-kun: audusgajdhsjdhd lolololol

Yamaguchi: I feel something. Is this—sympathy?

Suga: Possibly? Do you feel sad or sorry Kuroo is gay-panicking.

Yamaguchi: To a small extent.

Suga: yes this is indeed sympathetic

Yamaguchi: How curious

Fucker-pan-san: FUCK YALL KARASUNO 

Yamaguchi: aaaaaaaand it’s over

**Fucker-pan-san has changed their name to FUCK-YALL-KARASUNO**

**Fucker-pan-kun has changed FUCK-YALL-KARASUNO’s name to Queer_Panic**

Fucker-pan-kun: not under my roof bitch

Queer_Panic: aurgh fuck you in aprticular Noya-kun

Fucker-pan-kun: you focus on romancing your three crushes, propositioning with me can wait bro ;)

Tanaka-bro: nice one bro lol *high five* 

Fucker-pan-kun: *high five*

Daichi: My head hurt reading back. Kuroo, I apologize for the mess my kouhai have started. 

Queer_Panic: wish it was their fault for real

Queer_Panic: my feelings have hit me all at once and i am a wreck aurgh queer panic is CORRECT FUCK 

Queer_Panic: this is not why i came here

Daichi: yea why  did you come here again?

Queer_Panic: um thought it would be fun. was wrong

Suga: suspicious 

Shou-kun: u sain we rnt fun Sugasaaaaaaan 

Suga: i am saying Kuroo is too scheming to be this simple-minded

Daichi: concur

Queer_Panic: can we focus on my queer panic right now ????

*

Queer_Panic: ah yea now you fuckers disappear 

*

**Fucker-pan-kun added Koutarou to the chat**

Fucker-pan-kun: I’ve taken initiative 

Koutarou: HEY HEY WUT THIZ? 

*

Queer_Panic: WTF WTF NOYA-KUN FUCK YOU IN PARTICULAR YET AGAIN 

Koutarou: no seriously who diz? Dont make me make m friend hack yall

Queer_Panic: dont set akaashi on us bokuto pls, it’s just kuroo. We’re in karasuno’s team chat

Koutarou: ayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee hey Kuroooooo *hugs you tight*

Koutarou: OYA OYA KARASUNOOOO 

Yamaguchi: I am glad Tsukki is not here lol

Koutarou: eeeeeeeeeeeh? Why isnt he here i like tsukkiu he’s such a grumpy beanpole what a #ruler

Queer_Panic: don’t you mean *queen?

Koutarou: in the year of our lord 2013 we don’t call our friends with gendered words they haven’t confirmed they identify with< kurooo

Queer_Panic: u right u right

Koutarou: So why are you gay panicing? D you see Kenma exercise again that was funny u wre hilarios 

*

Kuro: I’m about to miss my oportunity

Kenken: DO NOT

Kuro: I am tho

Kenken: DO THE FUCKING THING 

Kuro: *sigh* fine i will but it won’t go well for me. I do it only becaus ei love you

Kenken: quit being embarrassing, Kuro

Kuro: it’s true kitten 

Kenken: go do the thing and then come tell me wtf has gotten into you

*

Queer_panic: f u tbh u stupid owl

Yamaguchi: lol even Bokuto-san  knows 

Queer_panic: ╭∩╮(-_-)╭∩╮

Yamaguchi: try me 

Koutarou: dont tru him he has big dic energy

Yamaguchi: (^.~)☆

Koutarou: terrifying 

Fucker-pan-kun: @BossShita Captain may I?

Queer_panic: whatevr it is - no

Koutarou: so ymi invited to the Karasuno chat again?  Yru here u weird cat?

BossShita: no but i may

BossShita: Bokuto-san, do you have a crush on anyone?

Koutarou: um

Koutarou: awfully personal bu k

Queer_panic: omg dont do it karasuno’s captain 

Koutarou: i have a crush ooooon Akaashi

BossShita: that it? Because we knew that already

Koutarou: lol yea i guess that’s obviou to everyone but him ┐( ˘_˘ )┌

Koutarou: ok ok ok i am doing it omg 

Koutarou: @Queer_panic is karasuno secretly a gay dating agency?

Queer_panic: i think so bro they gave me only pain

Koutarou: wait who are they settting you up wi?

BossShita: there goes and i thought it would be hard

Yamaguchi: nah Tsukki says Bokuto-san is actually intelligent he just doesn’t look it

Koutarou: (lol hoot)

Yamaguchi: <(￣︶￣)↗

Koutarou: HEY

Koutarou: i will not be distracted, hoot r u gay panicing over Kuroo?

BossShita: u get one guess, ill help

Queer_panic: NO

Koutarou: wait wait ok so 1. It prob has to doo with me bc im here right?

BossShita: well done

**Queer_panic has left the chat**

Koutarou: oh no dont go 

**Fucker-pan-kun has added Queer_panic to the chat**

Koutarou: Kuroo if u dont wann i wont k?

Queer_panic: im just worried

Koutarou: but y?

Koutarou: i was there for your gay crisis over Kenma, even tho u wont even say u like him just gay panicked over that. We both geeked out over how handsome akaashi is together? I wan’t even worried about the fact u sneaky beautiful cat were drooling all over mah setter since u kno -competition. Nah i was just happy or you bc i know it’s hard for u top act on attraction and stuff cause of… well u kno why… asnyway why would i be upset over whom ur crushing on?

Yamaguchi: I cannot believe Bokuto-san could use “whom” correctly but not spell– anything else right. 

Fucker-pan-kun: Tsukishima ghost wrote this ^^^^

Yamaguchi: yes he did he came to watch this

Queer_panic: fuck Tsukki

Yamaguchi: You better fucking not 

Koutarou: lol u keepo trying your luck with him he’ll jump you 

Koutarou: so dont u dare be nervous, whoever they are, they’re blessed to have caught the eye of my gorgeous super clever friend. they better know what they got

Koutarou: wait i just thought some things thru

Koutarou: wait it’s me isn’t it?

BossShita: !!!!! 

On the first try, congrats

Koutarou: akhfkajfgksdajhbfvkwlnfolwejfowerifholwfdhjolwejfe

Narita: that was a gay-ass key smash 

BossShita: indeed

Daichi: WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING HARASSING THE FORMER CAPTAINS OF NEKOMA AND FUKURODANI. HOW DARE YOU STIR TROUBLE! ALL OF YOU IMMEDIATELY STOP THIS, APOLOGIZE TO KUROO AND BOKUTO, AND DON’T YOU EVER DARE DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS AGAIN

Narita: Captain… I’m scared?

Daichi: AS YOU SHOULD BE

Suga: babe, he meant Ennoshita

Daichi: WELL HE BETTER HAVE MEANT ME 

Suga: turn off the caps lock babe

Daichi: NO I’M STILL MAD

BossShita: fine, I’ll then let Kuroo go on with his mission of getting Hinata and Kageyama together

Fucker-pan-kun: what?

Queer_panic: what?

Narita: what?

Koutarou: lol noble cause but you were out-gayed

Queer_panic: i don’t normally let my boyfriends speak to me like this

Koutarou: oh ho well u better then find that boyfriend of urs

Queer_panic: dork get back to our private chat

Suga: i was just gonna say that was fast

Yamaguchi: he tried

Koutarou: nope, invite me out in front of witnesses, cowardly cat

Queer_panic: Bokuto, do you really want these meddlers to get the satisfaction?

Daichi: wait Kuroo is doing what?

BossShita: mmmmmmhm

Yamaguchi: lol i knew something was fishy

Narita: i am not opposed

BossShita: Hinata. Has. A. Girlfriend.

Koutarou: he does? Oh ho that’s nice good for him, i always knew that the little man can face anything, even the complicated world of dating girls. Or dating. Im scared. Karasuno, do u take commissions? 

Yamaguchi: (≧∀≦) omg

Queer_panic: stupid owl, relax

Koutarou: DON’T U TELL ME TO RELAX 

Yamaguchi: OMG I AM DYIIIIIIING (≧∀≦)(≧∀≦)(≧∀≦)(≧∀≦)

Yamaguchi: also, leave Hinata and Kageyama alone

Koutarou: u kno probably not a bad idea. How’s kageyama handling this tho? I was a mess when akaashi started dating 

Queer_panic: Akaashi is dating?

Koutarou: yh he told me he’s been on date w/ some dude 1 year yonger 

Queer_panic: ugh we can never beat a youngster at the game of vitality

Koutarou: quit your negative thinkin old man. Plus, we got each other now right?

Queer_panic: right right

Fucker-pan-kun: but u both seem to want some moooore

Queer_paniuc: KARASUNO

Narita: here comes the second realisation

Daichi: WHAT DID I SAY

BossShita: ┐(￣∀￣)┌

Daichi: GOD DAMN IT 

BossShita: i protect them my own way

Tanaka-bro: scary, pal… scary….

Kageyama: I’m fine, Bokuto-san. Why everyboidy think I should have a steak in Hinata dating?

Fucker-pan-kun: lol steak

BossShita: I don’t know maybe because everybody here are expert meddlers? 

Tanaka-bro: right right that. also,  meat  kageyama alone

Tanaka-san: btw where Bokuto-san and Kuroo-san go?

  
  


*

Koutarou: so we both still have a crush on akaashi?

Kuro: ugh i hate karasuno

Koutarou: y we r bfs shouldnt we b honest w/ each other?

Kuro:  (>_<) u rite u rite

Kuro: ok yeah fine i have a crush on akaashi

Kuro: and kenma still

Koutarou: oh good!

Kuro: …….. ??????

Kuro: Good?

Koutarou: yeah i mean sod o i

Koutarou: well kenma will eb the easy part he already seems super interested in polyamory havent u noticed all the bijuaru noberu he’s been going through?

Kuro: huh?

Koutarou: yeah man he keeps playing those like crazy and they’re all filled with these complex romances and big story worlds. There was this one about an alien lord i think he bought it bc the lord was kinda catlike and he had big pointy ears and a sticking out black hair i thought u would definately get it then but oh well i guess u didn’t.

Koutarou: and maybe kenma hadnt wanted to tell u ca\use u had the other crushes like yaku and Ito-chan and oh i guess he would haev known about akaashi and i 

Kuro: Bokuto wait wait wait hold on a minute

Koutarou: huh?

Kuro: Polyamory?

Koutarou: oh yea… wait i’ll send u stuff. Hows ur english?

Kuro: this relationship starts out pretty weird

Koutarou: how else would it start its us

Kuro: yeaaaaa

*

Shou-kun: uuuh actually… Ha-Yun broke up with me (╥﹏╥)

Yamaguchi: oh poor thing *hugs you*

Queer_panic: oh is that so?

BossShita: @Fucker-pan-kun deal with this

Fucker-pan-kun: oh yea i forgot. So loooong suckeeeeeerrrr

Queer_paniuc: now wait a minute 

**Fucker-pan-kun has kicked Queer_panic out of the chat**

Fucker-pan-kun: the cat has been kicked out back ont he streets. now, shouyou, our child, tell us what happened...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments = <3333
> 
> Next up: Kageyama tenderly steps out of the closet. 
> 
> [Kageyama: Why dos everyone keep saying that, how is fuckign sideways comfortable?  
> Suga: the… wow i can’t believe i am having this conversation. @Daichi ? @BossShita ?  
> Daichi: no  
> Suga: ugh fine.  
> Suga: the sideways thing is meant to be uncomfortable. that’s why it’s an insult.  
> *  
> Kageyama: then whydid oikawa-san say it about himself? He said “fuck me sideways” when he relised he’d been a dic to iwaizumi-san.   
> Suga: he was… already uncomfortable?  
> Kageyama: wouldn’t the sideways fucking make him even more uncomfortable]


	13. In The Year Of Our Lord Twenty-TransTeen...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the year of our lord 20transteen, we come out to our team mates.
> 
> or
> 
> Kageyama ghosts the chat and Hinata gay panics over it. Tsukishima loves being Extra and this surprises nobody. Oh, and Yamaguchi wishes he owned a snake!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS! Please note: this chapter mentions suicide as a part of discussion of a literary work (namely The Silent City by Ōe Kenzaburō). It is over after Tanaka's first entry, and will not be discussed again. Please also note Tanaka's word-choices are my interpretation of his character, not a reflection on my own views. Stay safe!
> 
> MORE WARNING: This chapter discusses trans issues with coming out, transness and family, physical and social transition, etc. While accepting and supportive, a couple of Karasuno's reactions thread the line towards misguided, although none are malicious. Be safe and trans on, fellow trans people <3333

BossShita: @Tanaka-bro you have 3 sentences to convince me you have done your Modern Literature homework

KinoShitAh: specific

Suga: ingenious

Tanaka-bro: Please accept this opinion, Captain: Some argue that Takashi’s infidelity is the final step to lead up to his suicide. This obscene act on his behalf is in line with the impulsivity and violent tendencies he displays, but most importantly is considered by critics a symbolic sacrifice necessary to save the city. However, I personally believe Takashi is a peace of cheating shit and never deserved the attention of any woman in the first place.

Tanaka-bro: thank you for your time kindly, Captain

Fucker-pan-kun: holy fuck ryuu

Extra™: ...

BossShita: well, you have done your homework

Takana-bro: ????

BossShita: well…

Tanaka-bro: oh boy

BossShita: “this obscene act” doesn’t make it clear whether you’re talking abotu the suicide or the infidelity; “leading up to” sounds better than “to lead up to”. Good otherwise.

Extra™: That’s the opinion of (1) critic in a single paragraph. No contrast, no nuance. Also, The Silent City? If you’re going to use mythical symbolism and do weird shit, just go all in like Yanagita.

Yamaguchi: Sorry, Tsukki, you’re wrong.

Extra™: I am absolutely not. I am never wrong, nor have I ever been wrong.

Yamaguchi: First of all, math test, two days ago. Second of all, just now, talking shit about Oe like you were not nose-deep in A Personal Matter last year.

Extra™: Wanted to know what was so Nobel-worthy about it. That does not mean I liked it. Also, how dare you bring up math in a time like this!

Shou-chan: ok ok that’s enough lit or i swear i’ll kik yu assses 

Extra™: An intellectual discussion happening around you would do you a lot of good. God knows you can’t participate in one yourself.

Tanaka-bro: @Extra™ did u. Just call me. Not neuanced?

BossShita: there there

Shout-chan: aurgh TSUKISHIMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Extra™: Not you, just the opinion you presented.

Tanaka-bro: oh iiiiiiiiiiiiiiis it nowwwwwwwwwwww

Shou-chan: rip tsukkishimma hehehe

KinoShitAh: rip

Suga: rip

Yamaguchi: RIP Tsukki

Extra™: He asked.

Tanaka-bro: ooooooh and yo aaaansweeeeered

Suga: oh dear tsukishima so dead

Yamaguchi: is that a text version of his sing-a-song voice?

BossShita: I believe so

Yamaguchi: brb i think i need to hide my boyfriend

Tanaka-bro: but whyyy what did he even saaaay hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ﾍ(ﾟ∇ﾟﾍ)

**Fucker-pan-kun has changed Extra™’s name to Extra Dead**

**Fucker-pan-kun has changed their name to LAL**

KinoShitAh: ok what’s LAL?

LAL: Little Awesome Libero. Like LOL but better.

KinoShitAh: yea it doesn’t work

BossShita: mmm 

LAL: DONT AGREE WITH HIM CHIKARA

BossShita: i just said mmm

LAL: WELL WERE YOU AGREEING

BossShita: mmm

KinoShitAh: LOL

LAL: fuck you Hisashi

**Extra Dead has changed their name to Extra™**

Extra™: I’m weirdly attached to it.

Shou-chan: i guess u can allow it noya-san bc he died doing what he <3s

LAL: ??

Shou-chan: being extra

LAL: LMAO

KinoShitAh: not lol?

LAL: fuck. you. sideways. 

*

Kageyama: Why dos everyone keep saying that, how is fuckign sideways comfortable?

*

Suga: the… wow i can’t believe i am having this conversation. @Daichi ? @BossShita ?

Daichi: no

Suga: ugh fine.

Suga: the sideways thing is meant to be uncomfortable. that’s why it’s an insult.

*

Kageyama: then whydid oikawa-san say it about himself? He said “fuck me sideways” when he relised he’d been a dic to iwaizumi-san. 

Suga: he was… already uncomfortable?

Kageyama: wouldn’t the sideways fucking make him even more uncomfortable

Suga: uuuuum

Suga: he was describing how it felt to realise his mistake?

Kageyama: that makes… some sense

Suga: good good ( •̀ᄇ• ́)ﻭ✧

Kageyma: tow it would have made more sense to say “i feel fucked sideways” i guess, if he was going for that..

Suga: o(╥﹏╥)o

*

Diachi: you never did tell us how that conversation with Oikawa went, Kageyama

Kageyama: no i didn’t

BossShita: …

Daichi: well, would you?

Shou-chan: obviously he was meanbing to tell him about it Bakageyama ar you dense

Kageyama: i wll murder you

Shou-chan: how u r not here bakaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Shou-chan: r u gona talk to daichisan or ru coming to mine???

Suga: here they go again with the constant visiting 

Shou-chan: we havent stopped? Hayun borked up with me bc i was witha volleyball more than her, she didnt lik it

Narita: maybe Hinata is hoping Kageyama will snog him again now he has no gf to do it with lol

Kageyama: i am nobody’s shity backup option

Kageyama: i am not going anywhere but to dinner with my cousins and my aunt goodbye

BossShita: Kazuhito what in the fuck have you done?

Narita: holy fuck i touched a nerve

LAL: roundhouse kicked a nerve more liek ti tf 

BossShita: i expected more of you

Narita: ajfgajlfhldajhfaf i am really sorry i didn’t mean to pls i was just teasing

Shou-chan: was jyst gonna ask to play volleyball???

Suga: of course you were, child, never change

Daichi: how does one express deep, disappointed sighing in chat?

Suga: dont be mean, babe

LAL: (╯▅╰)

KinoShitAh: le sigh

Narita: Daichi-san noooo please

BossShita: *deep disappointed sighing*

Suga: ┌（-.-)┐

Daichi: yea, i feel like all of those right now. Don’t you want to do better by your teammates, Narita?

Narita: ……………..

Naria: i am crying rn tbh

Suga: omg Daichi u upset him

Narita: weeks of tiptoeing around Kuroo-san and i didn’t fuckup this badly omg 

KinoShitAh: wow Kazuhito is suffering. again

Suga: again?????

BossShita: problem for another time but he’s been a bit down

BossShita: ok no more teasing Kageyama about relationships 

Narita: (‘-‘*ゞ

LAL: (￣ー￣)ゞ

BossShita: now pick up the phone, Kazuhito

Narita: le sigh

*

Shou-chan: @Kageyama it was just gonna be about voleyball iswear

*

Shou-chan: @Kageyama

*

Shou-chan: @Kageyama

*

Shou-chan: @Kageyama

*

Shou-chan: @Kageyama

LAL: he still not answering your messages?

Shou-chan: no, he’s never missed an opportunity to yell at me. He might have a fever, what do we do then???

Yamaguchi: we do have Fujiwara, he’s been doing well when he isn’t tripping over his legs worshipping the third years?

LAL: i enjoy him

Tanaka-bro: what a wonderfull, friendly, cherrfull setter is our new kouhai

Yamaguchi: … no surprises there 

Suga: ah how i miss you two simpletons

Tanaka-bro: SUGA SAN DONT SAY IT WITH SO MUCH LOVE 

Suga: <333 baby dumbs

Yamaguchi: i am wheezing tsukki is wheezing my pet snake is wheezing 

Tanaka-bro: ???? pet snake????

Yamaguchi: it fits my aesthetic. he is pretty to draw too. unfortunately it is just a plush bc the twins cannot be trusted around animals. Oh and Tsukki hates it when I say it’s a a dinosaur’s ancestor with its legs fallen off. 

Suga: secret savage child 

Yamaguchi: by this point the secret is long-out 

Yamaguchi: iaijifk;vm ./wxOUBJN .,SD

Suga: ????

LAL: u ok yamaguchi??

Yamaguchi: FLIGHTLESS BIRDS LIKE CHICKENS ARE CLOSER ANCESTORS TO THE DINOSAUR THAN ANY REPTILE YOU UNCULTURED SWINE!

Tanaka-bro: ….

LAL: …………………………………….

Tanaka-bro: kjwbdkjsbckc wmwhahahahahahahaha omg 

LAL: no I AM WHEEZING 

Tanaka-bro: WAIT DOES THAT MEAN WHEN WE WERE CALLED FLIGHTLESS WE WERE ACTUALLY DINASAURS????

Suga: no

LAL: bro yes bc we were SAVAGE 

Yamaguchi: Or extincttklrd;sf;;

Tanaka-bro: man we WERE savage *high five*

Yamaguchi: i won my phone back

LAL: *high five*

Shou-chan: OK WHAT ABOUT KAGEYAMA I WASN’T GONNA KISS HIM 

Suga: sorry child, we haven’t forgotten, just tryign to distract you from fretting

Daichi: he has not answered me either, but in all fairness he did say he was seeing family tonight

LAL: @Yamaguchi tell tsukishima if he keeps showing signs he wants to be involved in this chat i can always bting him back 

Shou-chan: ajlfhalfhlshf well he has to answer at some point whatever 

Yamaguchi: tsukki says, “don’t you dare”

*

LAL: @Shou-chan: maybe he is upset bc u haven’t kissed him?

*

Daichi: @LAL last damn warning 

BossShita: pay more attention t o your own relationship, if you would, Yuu

*

Kageyama: @Daichi I had a good dinner, thank you. Enough protein, althought I was too tired to write in my jurnal in the evening, so I was a bit busy this morning catching up on my notes. 

Daichi: ah, Kageyama, you odd creature of habit 

BossShita: glad you had a good time, Kageyama!

Kageyama: The food was good.

Kageyama: I want t tell you what I takled about with Oikawa-san.

Daichi: OK?

BossShita: we’d like to listen if you want to tell us, of course

Kageyama: Apart from my call to him to convince him to talk to Iwaizumi-san, we also chatted briefly afterwards. He wanted to reassure me.

Daichi: how… rarely kind of him?

Kageyama: i was plesanty suprised

Kageyama: I played it off like I already known it but it meant a lot tha he contcted me to let me know.

BossShita: Wonder how the Grand King expressses gratitude. Did he offer to finally tutor you in jump serves?

Kageyama: No, i am confident in my jump serves as they are right now. Perhaps floaters? But I’d rather ask Miya-san.

Kageyama: Oikawa-san asssured me he didn’t hate me because I am transgender. 

Daichi: Kageyama

BossShita: Tobio

BossShita: That must have been an important thing to find out.

*

Daichi: is this why you responded in the public chat? So all would see? You felt ready to come out?

Kageyama: yes i need to knowe

Daichi: Suga and I will be here if anything goes wrong.

Kageyama: Ennoshita-san knowes too, i think he can help

Daichi: fo course

*

Kageyama: I suspected because he dated another trans boy in middle school but you knowe dating a trans person doesn’t mena you arent’ transphobic. Anyway, it was good to find out

BossShita: i am grateful this turned out this way for your sake, Kageyama 

Kageyama: i kneww you’d understand, ennoshita-san

*

Yamaguchi: first of all, how dare you choose that fanclub weidling fuckboi Atsumu Miya over me, your own team mate and future captain?

Yamaguchi: second of all, thank for telling us, Kageyama 

*

Kageyama: I would rather learn from the best. Once I’ve gotten the hang of his technique, when it comes to day-to-day instructions or pointers, I do prefer your approach, Yamaguchi-kun.

Yamaguchi: *squeak*

LAL: pfffft yamaguchi I felt that in my soul

LAL: you are so brave, kageyama. I can barely talk about my height when it comes to bodies and here you are revealing something about the relationship with your agab that’s incredible. in awe, kageyama-kun, in awe

Kageyama: i really am not here for body discussions

BossShita: i am really not here for body discussions

BossShita: lol trans solidarity

Kageyama: haha yes

LAL: sorry sorry i just meantt i am impressed and inspired and awed 

Kageyama: thanks?

Asahi Ace: hello, kageyama! I don’t know whether my input will be important to you, but I am so glad you trusted the team with your truth. This is incredibly open-minded of you. 

Suga: wow such an asahi way of saying things

Asahi Ace: What other way would i say things??!

Asahi Ace: wait did i say somethign wrong? Did i offend you, kageyama? Are you ok? (O∆O)

Suga: there we go

Kageyama: i am fine

Suga: Kageyama, may i ask a question?

Kageyama: as long as it is not invasive

Suga: i suppose many of the questions you expect would be considered invasive. I understand. but i was thinking… ahhhm huh how do i

Daichi: you got this!

Suga: tnx babe

Suga: So, i was wondering why you felt this is the right time to tell the rest. Obviously, Daichi and I were very honoured you came out to us before attending your first official training. Neither ever wanted to pressure you into doing something you are not comfortable with. But I haven’t noticed your level of uuuum… assurance? Readiness? I didn’t notice any change/

Suga: any reason why you’re coming out now?

Kageyama: i need a mmoment

Suga: ok ok child, take your time

BossShita: you don’t need to answer if it’s too much?

Suga: of course not

Daichi: of course not

Suga: lol same mind babe, high five

Daichi: le sigh

Suga: whoever taught him -meme, i hate you

LAL: you were there for it. it was literaly two days ago. you helped. 

Suga: dont call me out like this

Kageyama: my parents have been incredibly supportive. They riscked a lot to help me physically transition, and it’s been a rolercoaster which isn’t even over yet. Not every member of my family acts in similar fashin to my parents. Or even close. 

BossShita: im sorry your extended family isn’t supportive, Kageyama

Asahi Ace: that’s terrible, kageyama, i’m sorry

Suga: so were you trying to get help from your teammates? Oh child you are even more a team player than before, this is such a beautiful day <333

Kageyama: no

Suga: i spoke too soon （；＿；）

Kageyama: i was just done tiptoaing aroudn the issue want to know what i can expect

Kageyama: unknowns make me nervous and after the dinner with cousins and aunt… 

BossShita: well we haven’t heard from everybody but you know how they’ve been with me, Kageyama. I feel very accepted.

Kageyama: not the same

BossShita: I--guess?. Want to tell us your biggest worry?

Kageyama: no

BossShita: ok, we’ll let it be if you want

Kageyama: i don’t feel like awnsering questions but i am ok with comments 

Daichi: got it

Suga: we got you, son <333

*

Shou-chan: @Kageyama u still havent answerred my mssges BAKAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Tanaka-bro: Hinata is, as always, oncredibly narrow-minded

Kageyama: ……..

Yamaguchi: Tsukki says he couldn’t have said it better himself, Tanaka-san

LAL: PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT

LAL: also, 

**LAL has added Extra™ to the chat**

Extra™: I was free! For a blissful week! Why would you do this to me, Noya-san?

LAL: suck it up bish

Extra™: Well, I suppose there is an occasion.

Extra™: I am impressed by the fact you have another layer of personality not related to volleyball, King. Namely, the layer which allows you to make objectively brazen life-choices and thrive unapologetically in a cis-focused enviroment, especially in a difficult field such as sports. In an ideal world, this bravery would not be necessary. Hopefully one day it will be so. 

Extra™: That’s all.

Yamaguchi: !!!!!!

Yamaguchi: wow Tsukki, i have heard you give like two other speeches like that in all the years i’ve known you?! 

Extra™: Was that a question or an exclamation? Your sentence hasn’t decided its purpose. Make up your mind, Tadashi.

Yamaguchi: Sorry Tsukki

Kageyama: I--

LAL: I think kageyama is crying

LAL: I KNOW I AM

Tanaka-bro: i am too omg Tsukihima hass emotions which aren’t “i hate volleyball idiots” and “i think yamaguchi is hot but i pretend to not care”

Kageyama: pfffffffffffffffffffft

Extra™: Tanaka-san!

LAL: bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha Ryu!!!!!

Tanaka-bro: #truth

Extra™: King, this is over. Expect no different from me during our next practice.

Kageyama: I expect no different from anyone. This was not the point.

Yamaguchi: nobody is going to treat you differently, kageyama. And if they do, they are not worth your time.

Kageyama: yea…

Shou-chan: MSSGES 

Kageyama: SHUT UP DUMBASS I AM BUSY BEING TRANS 

LAL: …

Extra™: …

Yamaguchi: …

Tanaka-bro: ……………….

**Shou-chan has changed Kageyama’s name to Busy Being Trans**

**Shou-chan has changed their name to Busy Being Awesome**

Busy Being Awesome: now come to prvate baka

*

**Busy Being Trans has changed Busy Being Awesome’s name to BOKE**

**BOKE has changed Busy Being Trans’s name to Bakageyama**

**Bakageyama has changed their name to GoldenSetter**

**BOKE has changed GoldenSetter’s name to kAGEYAMA**

**kAGEYAMA has changed BOKE’s name to Dumbass-kun**

**Dumbass-kun has changed their name to Shou-chan**

Daichi: QUIT THAT I AM TRYING TO SLEEP YOU IMPOSSIBLE TROUBLEMAKERS!

**Extra™ has left the chat**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asahi is not sure what to do with his life and is more scared than usual. Tsukishima gets involved in some more of the team's relationships. 
> 
> [Extra™: Do I have to read all this just because of your crush on the King?  
> kAGEYAMA: dumbass like u can pass a test fight me  
> Shou-chan: OH YEA YO WANNA FIGHT  
> Shou-chan: alos, stfu stingyshima  
> Extra™: Prepare your forehead to wear my kanji, you terrible squeaking shrimp.  
> Yamaguchi: kinky  
> Narita: LOL  
> Extra™: Tadashi no!  
> Yamaguchi: Tadashi yes]


	14. I Like The Things You Say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are hard when you've never known how to be brave. Asahi tries though, and Karasuno helps. Some more trans issues are discussed and Hinata really doesn't get why anybody would ever even care about whether a volleyball player is trans or not? Oh, Kageyama admits a thing. Finally. *eyebrow wiggle*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter comes in early because I love yall for commenting and it has been charging me. Also, I am going to be busy during February so might as well give you an early reward for being late with final chapter? It might be done for early March though, if I get some of that comment fuel, so *puppy eyes* feed me pls
> 
> WARNINGS: This chapter will contain: implications of child abuse; a toxic father-son relationship, with the child considering of returning to their abuser; abused person not acknowledging the abuse or downplaying the severity of their situation. PLEASE Stay safe.  
> MORE WARNING: Some further trans issues are mentioned, including institutional transphobia and transphobia in sports. Trans on, trans siblings, stay wonderful :*

Asahi Ace: nope ok i am leaving

Daichi: no

Suga: no

LAL: no

BossShita: idk what’s going on but, also NO

Asahi Ace: ๐·°(৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)°·๐ please let me leave what if he never takes me back

LAL: I don’t even understn why you care but ok if he doesnt that is on him, babe

Daichi: ok listen to me, Asahi. Listen, just--- 

Daichi: Can I do this in this chat? Are you ok with that?

Asahi Ace: yh ok I guess

Suga: i wuld think so if he’s posting his announcement here

LAL: sound to me u want to be convinced otherwise, babe

Asahi Ace: idk anymore

Daichi: Haha told me she returned once to my father, when i was still a baby. She was alone, nobody respected her for her choice to leave, and she was scared out of her mind to try to make it work by herself. It took him four months to finally make her pay in full for ever leaving, but she said she felt lucky to make it out of the house on her own two feet, yet alone to make it out with me in her hands.

She says being with okaachan shows her what a real family looks like.  You  have seen how they are, how it’s at my place with the two of them being all lovey dovey. I know I roll my eyes (bc they are my moms, of course i don’t want to see that) but you also know i don’t have a single regret about my biological family not being around.

So ok you are worried about Azumane-san taking you back, or being accepted into the family. I realise that could be a big problem for many people. It’s ok not to be like me or haha or okaachan. From where I am standing however, you are complaining about a non-issue. If you wanted to stand on your own two feet, if you wanted to be free of what it means to be Azumane-san’s son, then you have to do this. You have a dream to chase, something of your own to obtain, and happiness which we all know would be ruined the moment you cross that threshold.

Even if you spend the entire ride home convincing yourself the old problems won’t be there now you’ve had some distance, you know better than to abandon your future for the sake of a business which is already collapsed. That happened before you even left, so don’t you dare blame yourself for it!

Suga: nailed it, Daichi!

Daichi: thanks?

Asahi Ace: this is too hard, guys, i don’t know how to do this

LAL: babe, is this just because the studies are hard?

Asahi Ace: no, i guess i feel like i’ve taken up too much. being home was at least simple, you know, knowing what is expected of me most of the time

LAL: bullshit. every few days that man would unload on you for his own problems and you’d wonder where it’d come from

Asahi Ace: Yuu

LAL: sorry, but i’m done pretending this is ok, bbe, you deserve more than the burden of the family mistakes being placed on you

LAL: plus, you are insanely talented, i bet you are 80% of the reason why yamagychi wouldnt show us his art

Asahi Ace: whut oh no don’t say that, i am not that good and i bet yamaguchi is amazing his art is ON THE INTERNET 

Daichi: i have no words for how easily you put yourself down

Suga: Stay there, Asahi. Or else. 

Asahi Ace: Don’t try to scare me!

Suga: … is it working?

Asahi Ace: THAT’S WHY I SAID DON’T

Daichi: Tell us why. Really.

BossShita: Asahi-san, idk what else to say than I am sorry you are in this situation. But I also feel like Daichi-san is right. Family is important but you can’t help anybody who doesn’t want to be helped.

Asahi Ace: maybe i can help by bearing the burden of my father’s struggles?

LAL: no

Daichi: no

Suga: Tell us why right now.

Asahi Ace: This entire thing is way too hard, i guess.

LAL: count them out for us

Asahi Ace: socialising, volleyball, classes, homework, keeping in touch with every one

BossShita: hmmm

Diachi: ?

Suga: What do your elf eyes see?

BossShita: ??? ok idk what that is

Suga: LOTR!!!

BossShita: nvm, i see that Asahi-san put socialising and volleyball first, which makes me think those burden him most

LAL: babe… do u want to quit volleyball?

Asahi Ace: yuu no

LAL: do not lie to me

Asahi Ace: ๐·°(৹˃﹏˂̵৹)°·๐

Asahi Ace: i just… it’s so much babe. I know volleyball connects us, and you love us talking about it, but this is taking up so much time, and i can’t be my best because i am taking so much time studying and worrying about my performance that the way i play is not up to par with who i was in my third year of highschool

Asahi Ace: i got benched

LAL: oh babe

Suga: sorry about that, Asahi

LAL: i don’t give a flying fuck if you play or not

Asahi Ace: YUU! Don’t say it like that!

Dachi: LANGUAGE

LAL: but i do not. whatever, u don’t play anymore. I am kinda upset u think thats what we have in common only. R u with me bc i was the libera to guard ur back? Is that what i am to u?

Asahi Ace: OF COURSE NOT YUU NEVER although i think I’ll never forget the feeling of it, it was not what drew me to you

LAL: well then leave that bench. either leave it because you play better or leave it because you’ve chosen a clear course in life which just doesn’t happent o be volleyball. who cares if you’re a volleyball player, you’re still my babe

Asahi Ace: …

LAL: now don’t let me hear you say anything about leaving every again

Asahi Ace: yessir

Daichi: wow nothing has changed in these past months, I guess.

Suga: I read that as “yes daddy”

Daichi: SUGA!

Asahi San: OMG SUGA NO

LAL: pffffffffffffffffffffffffffft *high five*

Suga: (ᗒᗜᗕ)՛̵̖

Daichi: DO NOT ENCOURAGE HIM NISHINOYA

BossShita: isn’t that what it said?

Asahi Ace: ENNOSHITA NO

LAL: i am wheeeeeeeeeeeeziiiiiing

*

Extra™: I realise everybody had a very serious conversation during the night, but since it seems to be over, I’d like to again raise the question of who decided Yamaguchi will be our captain next year?

Yamaguchi: exxcuse… me? 

Yamaguchi: (☆_@;)☆ ＼(｀-´ﾒ)

KinoShitAh: ^^^^^^^that decided it

kAGEYAMA: wel, it was not going to be you so why do you care

Narita: lol savage

Extra™: No, this was not a unanimous decision. I don’t accept this.

Shou-chan: wtf stungyshima who will it be obv it’s yaaguchi

Extra™: Spell one thing correctly before you expect me to have a conversation with you.

Shou-chan: WELL U ANSWERD ME NOW SO JOKES ON YOU DUMBASS

kAGEYAMA: brave of you to be caling somebody else a dumbass dumbass

KinoShitAh: there they go again

Yamaguchi: I wonder which one of you will first realise where they should be in this very moment… I really,  really  wonder. 

Tsukishima: On my way.

Shou-chan: what? ???

kAGEYAMA: bell rang, dumbass

Shou-chan: aw fuck

KinoShitAh: Yamaguchi is your fucking boss don’t ever deny it.

Shou-chan: never did

Extra™: I will revisit this topic again.

Narita: somebody is jjust afraid of their boss-ass boyfriend

Extra™: With reason

Yamaguchi: i guess you really aren’t interested in coming to class, Tsukki

Extra™: …

Extra™: Shut up, Yamaguchi

Yamaguchi: Sorry, Tsukki

*

Suga: OMG IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO REALISE HE DOESN’T MEAN IT WHEN HE SAYS “SORRRY TSUKKI”

Narita: lol

Shou-chan: Yamaguchi savage, I adore <3333

Extra™: Shut it, dumbass.

Shou-chan: hmmmm lemme seee how about NO 

*

Koutarou: @kAGEYAMA I kind of feel guilty staying ont he background here, I’d lik to let you kno even though I red everything around your coming out, it’s not gonna to be anything I share with any1 else.

LAL: ah fuck i forgot bokuto-san was here 

BossShita: Why, were you sharing anything else we were talking about, Bokuto-san?

Koutarou: meep

kAGEYAMA: Thank you for the consideration, Bokuto-san

Narita: i felt that  in my soul

Shou-chan: i still don’t get why anybody cares. Kageyama is one of the best setters it eh nation, ho tf can protest him playing with us

Yamaguchi: Only a ho will

LAL: pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft yamaguchi well done

LAL: also,, should i get rid of the intruder?

BossShita: let u know in a moment

BossShita: people probably would, and they probably will. reason no. 143 i am not coming out while i’m playing

Shou-chan: well sure but are you also planning to make volleyball your carrier?

BossShita: ah no, i like it and i obviously i am working for all of us to do our best, but i won’t make it a career after highschool

Shou-chan: well kageyama wants to play until he collapses of old age. Which btw #relatable. But also he can’t do that if he’s always afraid of beign outed and wwtf is life whne u cant tell anyone who u rly are

Koutarou: also #relatable, if i am not playing i am ded

Yamaguchi: one mind

Extra™: One brain cell. They’re sharing it.

Koutarou: Don’t be a smartass, Hinata has the brain cell today, I can’t keep up.

Yamaguchi: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Extra™: He should give it back, he’s not using it anyway.

Narita: i hate myself for laughing 

Shou-chan: NARITSA SAN NO also shut the fuck up tsukishima 

Extra™: If you’d capitalised my name, it would have been the first time you’ve spelled it correctly. Ever.

kAGEYAMA: I don’t understand why wanting to dedicate myself to volleyball makes me stupid. I suppose I am not so interested in school or other things of similar sort, but I guess it is different for me when it comes to the game. Volleyball was the sport which helped me build muskle in a way wich i liked and it affirmed who i was when i could play with somebody like Oikawa-san, not only that but be able to efektively replae him in a game. So sure i guess not everybody likes volleyball the way I do, or for the same reasons, but at this point it’s my life. Not just because it affirms me, but because I am good at it. I am a setter in a way which I feel defines me. I cannot be anything else.

kAGEYAMA: I cannot be a normal--college student or someting, as much as I can’t be a girl. Tose things just aren’t true about me. 

Koutarou: maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan kageyama i  getchu

Koutarou:  getchu

Extra™: I understand your point but I still maintain my assessment of your mental capacities.

Shou-chan: quit being a lil shit, stingyshima, he was just rely open right now

Shou-chan: maybe u don’t get it because uve never been passionate about something how about that? Maybe ur dead inside and yamaguchi likes ded people whi knows? But in any case who the fuck cares if kageyema cant pass a test to save hi life, he’s an amazing setter and when he’s ont he court it’s all that matters rright? 

Narita: I have so many things to say about Hinata going off in Kageyama’s defence right now…

Extra™: Do I have to read all this just because of your crush on the King? 

Narita: … that being one fo them

kAGEYAMA: dumbass like u can pass a test fight me

Shou-chan: OH YEA YO WANNA FIGHT 

Shou-chan: alos, stfu stingyshima

Extra™: Prepare your forehead to wear my kanji, you terrible squeaking shrimp.

Yamaguchi: kinky

Narita: LOL

Extra™: Tadashi no!

Yamaguchi: Tadashi yes

Koutarou: this is amaze i am glad u forgot to kik me out

Koutarou: Didn’t take you for one to accept it when yr bf marks other men yamaguchikun

Yamaguchi: He can ogle, he cannot touch, it’s the rule.

Extra™: Dear fucking lord, Yamaguchi, are you trying to murder me?

Yamaguchi: I do enjoy your face with a bit of colour, but that’s all.

Narita: #couplegoals but not as much as Daichi-san and Suga-san, sry

Yamaguchi: I accept that but only because we win in the childhood friends-to-lovers category

Koutarou: aghm kuroo and kenma

Yamaguchi: bitch please they can’t communicate to save their lives, we rule this court 

Yamaguchi: omg sorry for calling you bitch, Bokuto-san, i got carried away there

Koutarou: bitch please who cares about that 

Koutarou: also, ur not entirely wrong

Koutarou: brb kuroo saw that is tryignt o murder me hlp

Narita: lolololol relationship troubles. Not that i understand…

Extra™: For fuck’s sake, Narita-san, just ask the girl you like out.

Yamaguchi: I confessed to  you , you hypocrite.

Extra™: You’ve been walking in front of me for a while now, Tadashi.

Yamaguchi: …

Yamaguchi: We are talking. Right now. Your place.

Extra™: Ok.

Narita: “talking”

Narita: also, shut up Tsukishima

Extra™: Ask. Her. Out. Also, same to you @Shou-chan. You dumbass shit.

Narita: What has gotten into you that you’re so invested in our relationships?

Extra™: I want peace and quiet. Shrimpy’s mouth cannot speak if it’s occupied. 

Narita: LOL #savage. Also, you’re presuming Hinata can distract Kageyama from volleyball enough to snog. ALOS, still doesn’t explain me.

Extra™: No offense, but you pine very obviously, Narita-san

Narita: stfu

Shou-chan: yh stfu tsukishima u fcker

*

Suga: “talking”

LAL: “talking”

KinoShitAh: “talking”

BossShita: “talking”

Koutarou: “talking”

BossShita: @LAL he can stay for now

LAL: okay!

Koutarou: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

*

Shou-chan: still thing tsukishima is a dumbass

Shou-chan: who can look at kageyama playing his best and think it’s less important than how u do on a science test ppl can be brilliant in different ways 

kAGEYAMA: i love it when you say simple dumbass thing swhich affirm me lik tat

kAGEYAMA: waitt no how do you delete stuf

Shou-chan: what

KinoShitAh: WHAT

Asahi Ace: ah it’s good to be honest, isn’t itKageyama?

Suga: AMAZE

Extra™: I am sleeping but I am glad this worked, my head has been HURTING. Now shut the fuck up.

kAGEYAMA: i only said i like the things he says about my performance on the court

Extra™: Shut the fuck up and go to sleep.

Shou-chan: KAGEYAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YOU LIKE THE THINGGS I SAY

**kAGEYAMA has left the chat**

KinoShitAh: @LAL !!!

Suga: @LAL

Shou-chan: NOYA SAN HELP

**LAL has added kAGEYAMA to the chat**

kAGEYAMA: No

LAL: amaze,, so proud kageyama kun

kAGEYAMA: I have one emotion and it’s volleyball.

LAL: luckily, Hinata is as bouncy as one.

kAGEYAMA: No

Suga: LOL Noya

Tanaka-bro: Kageyama, it was about time you manned up and became honest about your feelings. 

LAL: wow propper spelling

Tanaka-bro: this was importunt

BossShita: aaaand you ruined it

LAL: I am letting tsukishima mute us bc he deserves this since i am pretty sure he made this happen omehow

KinoShitAh: the queer whisperer

LAL: *softly* the queer whisperer

Tanaka-bro: THE QUEER WHISPERER

Koutarou: I can’t believe Tssukki succeeded where that silly cat failed. So proud. Can’t wait to tell Kenma so we can laugh at our dumb bfrnd. 

Koutarou: also, super happy for my son. 

Shou-chan: idk what is happening i just complimented kageyama

kAGEYAMA: I cannot be held responsible for things i say while sliip deprived.

Suga: sorry, my son, you can and you will be

BossShita: Let the boy sleep we got practice tomorrow morning. For that matter, let’s ALL go to sleep.

LAL: to quote Bokuto-san, “meep”

*

kAGEYAMA: Fuck me sideways. Did i use tat corectly?

Suga: ｡ﾟ(ﾟ＾ਊ＾ํ )ﾟ｡

Suga: yes. yes you did, child

kAGEYAMA: well ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter up ahead. Bellow is a tease of what I have so far! Please comment <33
> 
> [Koutarou: hey hinata what about you? How r things on the… bfnd front?  
> ChikaraKa: you are already threading a fine line  
> Koutarou: what? No! Im sorry about the song thing but i am honestly genuinly asking bc concern for my son pls dont kik me out i like this place  
> ChikaraKa: *sigh*  
> ChikaraKa: not fair when somebody is so earnest  
> Tanaka-bro: Why do i feel like you’re insulting us somehow here, Chikara?]


	15. The Bokesexuals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is here! The final chapter! Thank you all for staying with me on this journey and OH WOW the comments. ^_^ my mouth hurt from smiling reading all the wonderful things you've left for me  
> !!!  
> so here we go, one last time before the next work in the series starts:
> 
> Kageyama is stubbornly refusing to face his confession. The third years unite as they torture their captain with a horrible song Bokuto sent them.  
> Oh, Bokuto has an... ecentric music taste! Sorry :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGERS: This chapter will mention some transgender issues, including coming out to romantic or sexual partners, and societal tranphobia, including career ending due to anti-trans views. The chapter CRITISISES the behaviour but as is told from a trans-boy's perspective, it can be potentially triggering. Stay safe and trans on, trans siblings <333

Koutarou: hey, Karasuno’s captain, why do[ they keep singing about you ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3DwbYBX1mY)?

Suga: This is making my brain hurt what? 

Extra™: I will never ever again open a link you send, Bokuto-san. How dare you defile my headphones this way?

Yamaguchi: kinky

Extra™: TADASHI STOP THIS!

Yamaguchi: no

BossShita: what int he fresh hells

Tanaka-bro: amazing. Itz my ringtone for him now

BossShita: Tanaka no!

Tanaka-bro: Tanaka yes

BossShita: you will regret this

Tanaka-bro: doubtful

LAL: CHIKARAKA CHIKARAKA CHIKARAKA

Koutarou: bim bim bim bim bim bim bim 

Extra™: No. Absolutely no. 

KinoShitAh: people in europe are so wild wtf 

Narita: this looked like russian int he text

Koutarou: no he’s right it’s european 

Narita: bom di gi dom i guess ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Koutarou: one, two, three, four, my friend

BossShita: i will murder all of you

**LAL changed BossShita’s name to ChikaraKa**

Narita: pfffffffffffffffffffffffffff we are all dead but this is worth it 

Suga: this is terrible i do not wish this on anyone 

*

LAL: hey did it get too quiet all of a sudden

Tanaka-bro: rip

LAL: (〇□〇）

*

Shou-chan: @Koutarou so dd u get all ur boyfrends? 

Koutarou: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa thanks for asking about my bfrnds hinata thats very kind of you

Koutarou: kenma is definitely on board but akaashi has decided this is too much for him (ఠ్ఠ ˓̭ ఠ్ఠ) which is understandable he is very traditional and he always thinks stuff thu so hard and he also has a boyfrnd so i guess he wouldn’t eve just go ahead and ditch everythin he knows to be with us but it hurts u know and kenma is taking it bad tbh and kuroo is like so busy bc uni projects and volleyball and i think oikawa is tryign to get him to do a new move he has never tried and akhkjhflhflejf 

Koutarou: ok im fine 

Shou-chan: i need help i think there’s something wrong with bokuto-san !!!!!

Yamaguchi: he’s definately not ok

Koutarou: im fine im fine

Shou-chan: HELP HELP HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP

Yamaguchi: i got this shouyo i got this

Yamaguchi: Bokuto-san, not everyone is as brave as you are. Akaashi-san obviously couldn’t handle this but you can’t be too sad over him because then your other boyfriends will also be sad because you are sad. You know how infectious your mood is.

Koutarou: oh damn you’re right

Koutarou: oh fuck i gotta keep it together for them

Koutarou: thanks Karasuno’’s future parent!

Shou-chan: @Extra™ see?

Extra™: Shut up, that’s not the point. Have you ever been in trouble with Yamaguchi?

Shou-chan: no im a good person so…….

Extra™: ╭∩╮（︶︿︶）╭∩╮

Extra™: He is terrifying

Yamaguchi: Thank you, Tsukki

Shou-chan: don’t you mean… 

Shou-chan: ….bom di gi dom?

Yamaguchi: ah yes of course

Extra™: No! Stop!

Koutarou: lol, it stuck. amazing 

*

Koutarou: hey hinata what about you? How r things on the… bfnd front?

ChikaraKa: you are already threading a fine line

Koutarou: what? No! Im sorry about the song thing but i am honestly genuinly asking bc concern for my son pls dont kik me out i like this place 

ChikaraKa: *sigh*

ChikaraKa: not fair when somebody is so earnest

Tanaka-bro: Why do i feel like you’re insulting us somehow here, Chikara?

LAL: ...ka!

ChikaraKa: and here is one who has bolted pass the line so fast eh didn’t even notice there was one

Tanaka-bro: yh sounds like yuu

ChikaraKa: don’t be smart, you’re his usual partner in crime

Tanaka-bro: i am a good and responcible senpai mentor to all my volleyball underlings

ChikaraKa: … ok then

Shou-chan: kageyama wouldn’t play with me now not outside of regular training and he shouts more at me than ever 

Koutarou: awww poor boi im sorry

Shou-chan: guess cant complment hm 

Shou-chan: i i i i i i work damn it

Yamaguchi: oh no Hinata cursed 

ChikaraKa: !!! 

LAL: hinataaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa noooo don’t go to the dark side

Shou-chan: im so sorry didn’t mean to my iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii is being dfficult hwp

Koutarou: so many problems so little man

LAL: pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft 

Shou-chan: BOKUTO SNA

Koutarou: dont be sad hinata u r small but mighty 

Shou-chan: !!!! <3

ChikaraKa: what r u laughing at, yuu? 

Tanaka-bro: phah

LAL: CHIKARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

LAL: ….

ChikaraKa: don’t do it

LAL: KA!

ChikaraKa: bitch you did it 

Koutarou: it is sad Hinata’s crush cannot face his feelings

kAGEYAMA: Stop talking abaut me. I don’t have any feelings to face.

Shou-chan: ok even i know now this is a lie 

Shou-chan: i’m sorry i kissed you

Koutarou: !!!! what u kissed him?  
Extra™: This again. 

LAL: u don’t get to mute bitch

LAL: wait shouyo again or is this about the original kiss????

Extra™: UGH

LAL: we may need the queer whisperer, tsukishima

Extra™: I stand by my previous statement.

Shou-chan: old one

kAGEYAMA: what the fuck dumbass why would you regret it you said it was a good kiss you peace of shit

Shou-chan: DON’T CURSE KAGEYAMA CLEAN THAT FOUL MOUTH 

kAGEYAMA: I DO WHAT I LIKE 

Shou-chan: QUT YELLING AT ME AM SORRY I KISSED YOU BECAUSE AT LEAST BEFORE PEOPLE WEREN’T MEDDLING N OUR FRIENDSHIP AND YOU WERE STILL MY FRIEND AND NOT SOME ASSHOLE WHO YELLS AT ME AND DOESN’T WANT TO PLAY WITH ME LIKE AM I NOT ESSENTIAL TO WINNING NO AM A GREAT DECOY BUT STILL YOU ARE BEING MORE STINGY THAN STINYSHIMA 

LAL: wow. let it all oiut boi

kAGEYAMA: I wood have told you if you’d gone back to suking as bad as before this is not about your game. 

Shou-chan: then what? 

Extra™: You are both so bad at this. 

Koutarou: 

Hinata and Kageyama: stuppornly refuse to date

Tsukki: just kiss

LAL: i guess now they think kissing was a mistake

kAGEYAMA: yh i guess hinata dos whatevr

Shou-chan: thats not what i said baka, is said i regret ruining our friendship

kAGYEMAA: What? No you said you regret kissing me it says that up there?

Shou-chan: WELL I OBVIOUSLY MEANT THE FRIENDSHIP THING ARE YOU DENSE 

kAGEYAMA: yh i guess im not date worthy anymore whatever 

ChikaraKa: where is this coming from, Kageyama? 

Tanaka-bro: don’t put yourself downd like that kageyamaaaaa this is too weird for you

Tanaka-bro: have some more guts u know u r datebale who would want u without confidence 

kAGEYAMA: well i have confidence ont eh court 

Tanaka-bro: mmmm i guess then u cant complain if you are not datable, if all you care abotu is your court performanse. 

Extra™: How did the King conclude he isn’t date-worthy if he’s never dated? 

kAGEYAMA: Shit up tsukishima

Tanaka-bro: phahahahaha shit up yea

LAL: pfffffffffffffffffffft bwahahaha yea SHIT IT tsukishimaaaaaa

Extra™: Well, I’m not wrong. You’ve never dated.

kAGEYAMA: and i said shut up. what am i suposed to do, come out to everyone i date? if it doesnt work out, here’s a person who can ruin my vball career if they wanted. oh and how do i trust they respect my gender hm? how do i trust if a guy doesnt take me for a girl and dates me bc he thinks it doesnt matter what i call myself if i am born some way? wat if he is just humoring me? or wat if a guy doesnt want to date me bc he thinks he isnt gay if he dates me all of sudden? Cause that happens too u know. so yh don’t u make fun fo my dating life i don’t have time for that dating is complicated all i know is it’s simple to think of the best toss to send out and not some stupid dating shit 

Extra™: …

Extra™: How pathetic.

Yamaguchi: TSUKKI

LAL: wtf tuskishima 

Extra™: I said what I said. 

kAGEYAMA: I am NOT! 

Extra™: Oh yea? How do you call a person who would compromise the outcome of games he claims are so important, because he cannot face the feelings he has for one of his team mates? 

Koutarou: I might get broken up with for this, but Tsukishima is better at this than Kuroo

LAL: oooh

Yamaguchi: i see what you’re doing but still not cool

Tanaka-bro: what?

Koutarou: what

kAGEYAMA: I don’t care for your opinion on my life. 

Extra™: I don’t care about your life. But I also don’t care to play with somebody pathetic.

kAGEYAMA: Fuck off

Extra™: Fuck on.

Yamaguchi: ok that was funny but still not cool

ChikaraKa: @Shou-chan tell us what you think about Kageyama being trans.

Shou-chan: whut? What does that hav to do wth anythin we have established hm being trans doesnt stop him from beng a great setter

Extra™: *sigh* Persistently one-lane mind

kAGEYAMA: Ennoshita-san, respectfully, don’t do that. 

ChikaraKa: i’m sorry, you need to know

Shou-chan: whut?

ChikaraKa: what about as a person? 

Yamaguchi: a datable person, shouyou

Shou-chan: … still confused. If he can date and wantes to date, he should date. ho cares. but whatever i think if he wants to date somebody who wont be a ass about him being trans then he should date smb who knows and s ok with t. like somebody ho can handle that terrible personality too bc that is the real problem with hs dating lfe to be honest

Extra™: To quote Noya-san, “pffffffft”. 

Shou-chan: shut up tsukishima 

kAGEYAMA: fine ok ill date you

Koutarou: !!!!

Koutarou: what

LAL: what

Yamaguchi: what in the

Tanaka-bro: that easy, huh? I guess it ws to be expectd

ChikaraKa: You call that easy?

Extra™: You call that easy, Tanaka-san?

ChikaraKa: *smirk* 

Shou-chan: WAIT WHAT 

*

Koutarou: so has he said anything @kAGEYAMA? 

kAGEYAMA: no

LAL: *sigh* i have been invested int heir happiness for so long. *prays to the gods* don’t take ti away from me now

*

kAGEYAMA: well what about it dumbass????? @Shou-chan

*

**Shou-chan has changed kAGEYAMA’S name to Busy Dating A Cis Bisexual**

**Shou-chan has changed their name to Busy Dating A Trans Gay**

Busy Dating A Trans Gay: that answer you?

Busy Dating A Cis Bisexual: I am not dating any cis bisexuals

Busy Dating A Trans Gay: well date me then boke

**Busy Dating a Cis Bisexual has changed their name to Busy Dating A Dumbass**

Busy Dating A Dumbass: there more accurate

**Busy Dating A Trans Gay has changed their name to Busy Dating Bakageyama**

Busy Dating A Dumbass: i gues i wil kil you before our first date then

Busy Dating Bakageyma: WELL U STARTED IT 

*

Suga: WHAT!!!!!! 

Daichi: I am so glad I missed this mess but also, congratulations, Hinata, Kageyama.

Koutarou: i have been blessed

LAL: I have been CRYING 

Extra™: Finally. I expect peace now. 

Yamaguchi: oh poor Tsukki

Extra™: I DEMAND

LAL: You get 2 weeks off because I am so happy.

Extra™: ! 

**Extra™ has left the chat**

Yamaguchi: remember when he yelled after the shiratorizawa block point? that’s what that sounded like. 

Narita: *supportively waves a gay flag*

KinoShitAh: *supportively waves tsukishima*

Yamaguchi: Kinoshita-san found the gayest thing to wave

LAL: lmao yamaguchi nice

*

ChikaraKa: I am fucking TIRED of that song, would you all quit playing it!

Tanaka-bro: pay pay pay pay pay pay

ChikaraKa: I SWEAR

Koutarou: i see this has escalated

ChikaraKa: OMG 

Koutarou: oops

LAL: it’s the thrid years’ ringtone we takes turns calling each other 

KinoShitAh: yesterday at practice we left our phones in hidden places around the gym and used a prepaid to call each of us in turn

LAL: periodically you cna hear from a corner just blasting CHIKARAKA CHIKARAKA CHIKARAKA 

Asahi Ace: is sort of thought it said “shikara” 

LAL: do not ruin this for us, babe

KinoShitAh: asahi-san i respect your opinion but it is currently invalid 

Asahi Ace: ok i’ll go

Tanaka-bro: this was worth the punishment coach fugred out for us

LAL: it’s ok i can run around witht he weights all day for the price of hearing the song of chikara’s people over and over and over and over

ChikaraKa: I HATE YOU ALL AND I AM NOT SORRY I TOOK A PICTURE OF YOU TANGLED IN THE VOLLEYBALL NET YUU

LAL: what how dar eyou delete this footage 

Narita: oh they fight back 

Tanaka-bro: cruel but understandable

Narita: will we let them win?

Tanaka-bro: never

LAL: CHIKARAKA CHIKARAKA CHIKARAKA CHIKARAKA 

ChikaraKa: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaurhfgkajfhhfle 

*

Busy Dating A Dumbass: Im taking you to see beach volleyball

Busy Dating Bakageyama: !!! 

ChikaraKa: Nice choice. 

Suga: our sons have grown up

ChikaraKA: so proud

Daichi: Now who’s going to convince Akaashi to date Kuroo, Kenma, And Bokuto, because I am done with people bringing their love life on the court I just want to play the game.

ChikaraKa: nope too far

Suga: do i look suicidal?

Yamaguchi: Tsukki says he won’t do it even if it’s about to save the Earth from certain damnation.

KinoShitAh: yh good call let’s never ever EVER fuck with akaashi

ChikaraKa: deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you thank you thank you to everybody who's supported this fic ^_^ it was so much fun writing it! I hope I'd see you guys for the next one. Here's what I'm planning for it:
> 
> "Join boyfriends Kuroo and Bokuto on their quest towards getting… two more boyfriends! Between Kenma’s uncomplicated response and Akaashi’s reservations, they have their hands full.  
> Also, Bokuto has questionable taste in music."
> 
> Koutarou: OMG JKUROO I DIDN’T ACTUALLY MEAN THAT ALKHFLHFHFRHF OF COURSE ILL MAKE YU PURR  
> Kuro: omg shut up  
> Koutarou: ohohoho what is this the flirter becomes the flirtee and he is all of a sudden embarassed?  
> Kuro: dont call me out be a decent boyfriend and let me have my honour  
> Koutarou: no i want to make you blish its a s orta rush id tell ya  
> Kuro: stupid owl  
> Koutarou: HOOT


End file.
